Well, it's here.  The last day of the terrible year.  Let's recap, shall we?
Actually, there's no need to recap.  I'll be rid of it all in less than twelve hours.
Happy New Year!

Today was a bum day.  I woke up at noon and lounged about and then around three pm all of the sudden i'm hit with some flu.  The stomach flu perhaps, as I've been getting sick for the last two hours.  Now that it's bedtime, although I am thoroughly exhausted, I don't want to go to sleep because I just know that once I get to sleep I'll be woken up by stomach pains and have to get sick.
Throwing up is just one of the worst feelings.
Also, I realize that the term 'throwing up' may gross some of you out, but the fact is that you've done it before, and it's a part of life so I won't be censoring it.  I've been dealing with the lovely topic all day, the lucky girl that I am.
The funny thing is that it is now, at 12:39 in the morning, the last day of the year 2011.  Wouldn't it be lovely if I woke up on the 1st feeling healthy and energized?  Either that or I could wake up sick as a dog.
Time will tell, and don't worry, so will I.

So, stephanie's friend just got a tattoo of lyrics running from her neck to her shoulder, and I'm slightly obsessed.  I told Lucia about it, and she is not pleased.  What's really funny is that she keeps saying 'wait until you're older to get a tattoo, homie will not be happy if you get a tattoo, don't blow your money on a tattoo', when in the real world, she has already taken me once to get a tattoo.  I actually had to remind her that I do in fact already have one tattoo.
But we shall see.  I'm in no rush.

I'm Not Your Princess, This Ain't A Fairytale...

Oh, my life.  My life, my life, my life.
I'm in a mood, friends.  And it's about time, it's my first legit bad mood since being home which is pretty darn good since I was in a mood every other hour at school this past semester.
Anywho, I'm in a mood.  I spoke to the imaginary man, as I said in an earlier post, today.  And boy did I not like what he had to say.  We were discussing his goals and his travel plans for the next year and such, since he had previously told me he was going to come to the states to take me on a date.  For the record, I never fully believed this.  I've been very realistic during this whole imaginary man process and not investing anything into this.  Anyways, he had told me that he was planning to come to the states after his time in the south pacific.  But today he tells me he's now exploring a business venture and is staying a little longer in the south pacific, then going to Africa (yes, AFRICA), and then back to the south pacific to open a business.
So the way I see it, although he didn't come right out and say it, is he's staying in Fiji.  Like, this man is setting up roots down there, and even if he were to move to the UK or the states or wherever, he'd have to do quite a bit of traveling to maintain the business and such.  And he so loves it in Fiji, I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to move there permanently.
Then again, this man is a nomad and I cannot see him settling down anywhere.
But ugh, Africa.  I was so sure he was coming to the states to work after Fiji.  He says he'll plan a trip to the states during his time in Africa, but I'd be silly to bank on that.  No matter how lovely the prospect of this relationship seems, it would be nearly impossible and require an abnormally large amount of commitment and constant reassurance to work out-things I'm not quite sure the imaginary man is capable of.
He is, after all, still imaginary.
But back to real life, I woke up really late and went on a walk/run with Stephanie, and then lounged around and filled out applications for internships the rest of the day.  I'm currently whitening my teeth (day2) and I've decided that I really hate whitening the teeth.  It feels like loose paper on your teeth that will slide off really easily and it's just really uncomfortable.  Oh, the price for some snazzy white teeth.
Speaking of teeth, my re-scheduled dentist appointment is coming up and I am not thrilled.  I have three cavities that this man is probably going to spread into three different appointments because he hates me and then he's going to tell me about how badly I need my wisdom teeth removed and blah blah blah.
Also I've just removed the strips and am exceedingly happy to be free.  I tend to appreciate the lack of white strips in my mouth so much now that I've been doing this.  So far my teeth appear to me to be much whiter but I tend to see what I want to see, and since it says results begin after three days, they probably look the exact same.
Also, I am so so so excited for the new year.  A fresh start.  Expect a very long post summing up 2011 tomorrow.
As for now, I'm off to finish an application and get some sleep.
Goodnight!

How do people do long distance relationships?!
I just don't understand you people.  Just communicating with the imaginary man is nearly impossible.  We're finally speaking now for the first time in nearly two weeks, and in between we just leave messages for each other.  It's so frustrating and we're not even attached or dating or anything.  I can't imagine doing this and really caring for or being in love with whoever is on the other side.
But we've set up an actual skype date at last, so we'll see how that goes.  The imaginary man may no longer be imaginary...

So last night I dreamed that I married Kris Humphries (Kim Kardashian's ex husband).  We got married in a big concert hall and there were thousands of people and on stage there were rows of pews also filled with people.  I chickened out the first time going down the isle, so when I came back in I kind of ran to the middle pew where Kris was sitting with a black polo and jeans on.  And because the pews and the whole hall was so packed, I had to sit on his lap between two random guests for the ceremony.  And there weren't any vows or anything, we both had to hold a candle and then the next thing I knew I was walking around greeting people and chilling and then Kris and i were sitting at a table discussing children and it was all very odd.
Why do I dream such vivid and random dreams?  I mean seriously, Kris Humphries?  I never knew I had a crush on him before last night.  Anywho, I'm about to take out Stephanie's rag curls and see the final product!

Oh, the night that Stephanie and I have had.
Well, mostly Stephanie.  She got the brunt of the trauma.
We decided to have a girly DIY night.  We cut up an old t-shirt into strips and I rag-curled Steph's hair.  This, for those of you who don't know, is a really easy process to give yourself natural curls.  I'll break it down for you.
-First, you separate the hair into chunks and spray the pieces so that they're damp.
-With the strips of fabric, start from the bottom and roll the strip up your hair, wrapping it around the strip and tie it off at the top.

The Final Product.  Hopefully tomorrow morning when we release the curls, it'll be beautiful and neat like it's supposed to.  After yanking and rolling and pulling her hair, we moved on to the homemade wax idea.  She was of course very excited at the prospect, although she was the guinea pig.  I made the wax (honey, lemon juice, and sugar) and heated it up, burning my finger twice while testing the temp.  So we get the extra t shirt strips and I apply the wax and strips as directed, and wah wah wah...it didn't work.  Steph was practically giggling as I attempted to rip the hair from her legs.  We're going to tweak the ingredients and try again tomorrow.  Steph's poor legs are not splotchy and missing random patches of hair.

As for me, I'm sitting here with my new purchase:

Crest White Strips.  I've never used a teeth whitener before, so I'm hoping for the best.  39.99 at Target and 'satisfaction guaranteed'.  Comfort, however, is an issue.  Not only do I feel like I have wads of paper attached to my teeth, I have a lisp and feel like it's weird to talk.  I'm also slightly paranoid that the strips are going to slip off of my teeth and it'll be a waste of a strip.  They're kept on my teeth for thirty minutes, and I am exactly half way through at the moment.  

This is my kind of craft.  I'm constantly being dissed for my lack of craftiness, but which of you have pulled off rag curls and home-made wax?  That's me being crafty.
Anyways, as I wait for the white strips, I'm going to continue to watch the Lizzie Mcguire Movie with Stephie.
Also, I want to point out that it's 1:56am and all these adventures began past midnight.  We're wild women.
Goodnight friends!

Nothing like building a resumé to stress you out!
That's how it's going for me, at least.  What am I going to do with my life?  Do I want to go into film, advertising, journalism, photography...
I have no idea.  Not a clue.  I've built a resumé, so it's all done and ready to go, but now I'm stressing about internships.  What kind of internship would benefit my long term career goals?  Should I get an internship in film or advertising or journalism?  Whaaaaat am I doinggggg?!!?!?
That was a mini breakdown.  Anywho, the only internship I've applied to so far is Kleinfeld's because I know there's no way they'll accept me anyways.
So I'm gonna take a break.  Stephanie and I are off to blow some more gift cards and get some starbucks.
Adios!

Wow, a whole day slipped by me without blogging!
So sorry, the last two days have been busy busy busy!
Yesterday Lucia and I went to Old Navy, Banana Republic, and the Gap to find something to spend my fifty dollar gift card on (it was redeemable at all three places), and it was so stressful.  I'm usually not a fan of shopping, and when I do find something that I like at stores, it's hard for me to actually buy it because I'm so nervous about wasting it.  It's very stressful.  So we go to Banana and I try on like eight sweaters which are all designed for chest-less women, so then we go to Old Navy and all the sweaters were abnormally short and poorly made, so then we go to the Gap and hit the jackpot.  I have never shopped there before, but I got two sweaters and am so so so happy with them.
Anywho then we rushed back and packed duffle bags real quick and headed back over to my aunt's near princeton for the third time (for me) in a week.  I just love going to my aunt's house.  It's really nice and comfortable and is always filled with family.
Anywho, Heather and I slept over because my cousin Tamarah, who has been in France for the last four or five months, was sleeping over and we wanted to spend time with her.  It was a nice night, we watched the last HP movie and then Bridesmaids and laughed and enjoyed each other.  It was great.  And then we came back this morning so Heather could go into Philly and I went out to lunch with my old youth pastor.  And then I came back and did nothing for a few hours.
As for tonight,  Heather and Lucia and I are going to the movies to see Sherlock Holmes.  And then Heather leaves in the morning, which is probably perfect timing because I think she's starting to get sick of everyone around all the time.  It was a good visit with her.
So, yes.  Now that the holidays are over I have three weeks and one day left of being lazy and doing whatever I want, which will likely be nothing.
I've also just realized that I'll be by myself for New Years, which is kind of a bummer but there's not much an underage single girl can do on such a holiday.
Also, the imaginary man is still imaginary, as I haven't heard from him in almost two weeks.
Time to give up?
Almost.

So now that I'm comfy and watching cowboys&aliens with my family+steph, I can go into all of the gifts that were given and received today.
Heather and I were talking yesterday about the amazing deals at anthropologie and all of the cute things we like there and little did she know that those things she was commenting on were under the tree waiting for her at home.  So I did well with that.
My mom got a camera from my dad, homie got a leather jacket from Lucia, and Heather got a new ipod touch to replace her last one.  So it went well for all of us.  I got a laptop case(the one I had been using was literally in shreds), gift cards to best buy, banana republic, and old navy, bear paw boots, a pretty luggage set, a photo album, a book of soup recipes, and a bottle of mace.
My uncle, who is a retired university police officer, then continued on to explain to Heather and I how to use it and where to keep it and survival tactics and such.  It was an interesting Christmas.
And now we finish it with a random movie and some family time.  A success in my opinion.
Anywho, I'm off to continue to upload photos and videos.
Merry Christmas to all.

Oh, the holidays.  Dramatic and fun all wrapped into one.  At the moment I'm pissed at my dogs because Jake ate my trader joe's swiss chocolate bar that my grandma got me for christmas.  Stupid dog.  My bedroom door was accidentally left open before we left this morning and when we came back the remaining chocolate was shredded and smeared on my bed sheets.
I do not like my bed to be messy.  So coming in and seeing not only my chocolate bar chewed into (I love chocolate) but my bed smeared with dog slobbered chocolate was a bit of a damper on the Christmas mood.
But oh well, it's just a piece of chocolate.  I'm also surprisingly done with interacting with people.  Even I have a social limit, I suppose.  Anywho, it was a good christmas, but I am glad to be rid of it so I can get on with my normal activities.
To sum up the day, we woke up, did presents (highlights: nice new camera, disney princess cupcake recipe book, and ulta make-up kit), ate breakfast and loaded into the car to go to my aunt's house.  About ten minutes in the 50 minute drive, homie, who is sitting in the very back of the van between heather and I, gets a nosebleed.  And when I say a nosebleed, I mean a nosebleed.  It was pretty intense, and wasn't slowing down after going through a few tissues.  So we, being the resourceful daughters we are, get a tampon and make homie stick it into his nose.  Unfortunately that fills up in less than a minute, so we find a super jumbo tampon and he puts that up his nose.  Worked like a charm, although Homie was less than pleased to be sitting there for the last forty minutes with a tampon up his nose.  He also threatened our lives so that we wouldn't take photos.
Then we opened more presents at my aunt's, ate a ton, and eventually found ourselves (me and my cousins) passed out on the couch watching indiana jones.  Then we left and here we are!
So other than the nosebleed and the stupid dogs, it was a pretty uneventful christmas and lacking on the Christmas-y feel.  But that's alright, it was nice nonetheless.
I'm excited to spend all of these gift cards!

Happy Christmas Eve!

Best Day Of The Year.

I Wish You Could Look At Me Now.

I've also been thinking of my grandfather.  Tomorrow will be six months since we lost him, and I'm not sure if it will ever be real or if I'll ever be able to break down and allow myself to fully miss him.  Little things are what get to me.  My grandma brought in the presents for us and put them under the tree, and not only was my grandpa's handwriting absent from the gifts, but they now only say Love Grandma.
It's so strange to think about.  I grew up with my grandpa and I have to many memories with them,  none of them less than wonderful.
I remember sitting at the window in my living room waiting impatiently for him to drive up with my grandma at every visit, being so incredibly excited.  He taught me how to bait a hook and to fish, as well as life lesson tidbits here and there.  The last time I saw him was at my high school graduation, and a year later he was gone.  He was so full of life then.  Heather and I were his world, his only grandkids.  Everyone loved him.  And then he left.
He's never going to see me graduate from college, get to brag about whatever lame job I get, never going to meet my husband and tell me I'm too good for him.  He's going to miss out on my life, something he was so invested in.  It was always fun and games with us, never saying how much he meant to me or how much I appreciated his silly little bits of advice and random suggestions.  He always thought that I was ten times better at everything than I actually was, whether it was singing or drawing or photography, I was a pro to him.  I'll never get to thank him for all that he has done and the legacy he has left in my life.
I can only hope that he's existing somewhere, in a better place as they say.
And If You Were With Me Tonight
I'd Sing To You Just One More Time
A Song For A Heart So Big
God Wouldn't Let It Live.

The uncles are in, along with my Grandma.  I love my family and all its craziness, but sometimes I just need a break.  So, I'm locked in my room enjoying listening to nothing but the whizzing sound of my ceiling fan.  My dad is a homebrewer, and a very good one I hear.  He was featured in the paper a few years ago and has all these ribbons and blah blah blah anyways people always go nuts over his latest brew. So my uncles come in and about two hours later my dad comes into the living room saying 'the keg is empty?!'
So then my uncles and my mom start laughing and shouting the keg is empty!  what do we do!  Gotta refill!  And the next thing I know I'm getting shoved into the back of my mom's van as we drive on a 'family outing' to the liquor store because my dad ran out of his own stuff.  I still had cookie dough all over me from making my latest batch.
Anyways so we go and my mom ends up getting six bottles of wine and my dad gets a refill on the keg and my uncles get their own stuff and I find myself in the backseat of the car going home with all this alcohol.  I'm pretty sure they brought me solely to carry the cases.
Anywho, it's always interesting and fun being with the family.  My dad has to work tomorrow morning, so, as I said, I have to get Heather from the airport in Philly which makes me beyond nervous.  It's no secret that I both hate driving and have terrible luck doing so.  But, she must be retrieved, so I shall go.  I'm hoping to smooth things over because I want her to be happy and I want a nice christmas for everyone.
I found myself thinking of the imaginary man today as well.  I haven't spoken to him since Monday, as he is traveling between islands for the holiday, and I wondered if we would speak before Christmas.  Is that something that one does in this situation?  Is it a bad sign if that doesn't happen or is everything situational?
I am most definitely a girl and thankfully, a maturing one because I no longer allow myself to dwell on such thoughts with the imaginary man given the excruciatingly unrealistic nature of the situation.
Oh, to dream though...

I got back from Pennington to see my cousins today and have been cleaning ever since because my Grandma and my uncles are coming down from Michigan for Christmas for the first time since I was super little.  Actually, my one uncle has never been to our house.  It's the first christmas without my Grandpa, so I guess everyone's decided to switch stuff around.
Anywho, I had a lot of fun with my family today and yesterday.  I got to my aunt's house yesterday afternoon and we made peppermint bark with my cousins and aunt and then Sal, my aunt, and I went out to dinner in Princeton while Francesca was at a sleepover.
Salvatore and I finished the night with a movie (Cowboys&Aliens), and the next morning we made milkshakes as always, packed up, and I headed home.
Upon returning, Lucia informed me that the 'get together' of literally four people that I had been informed about previously has grown into a party involving everyone and their mother-literally.  She had texted most of my friends (how she has their numbers, I do not know) and invited them as well as their families and all her friends and some other obscure people.  It'll be a lot of fun, I just wasn't expecting such a production on this Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve, by the way, is my most favorite day of the entire year.  Everyone is so festive and you don't get hated on for going overboard on the Christmas spirit because everyone is pumped.  The anticipation for Christmas is better in my opinion than Christmas itself.  Anywho, I'm excited to have everyone together and enjoy some delicious christmas cookies which I have likely destroyed with the excessive amount of icing I have been using to decorate them.
Anywho, I'm going to get some sleep because I have to get my sister from the airport tomorrow which will likely be the most stressful part of the week.

Today was the loveliest of days.  To get the bad and bizarre out first, Lucia got her credit card number stolen and someone charged quite a bit of money from her account.  Luckily she found out within hours of the guy doing it and got it straightened out and the card cancelled and such.  Also, I sliced my finger open today.  On what, you may ask?
On the cap of a tub of icing.
My life is full of jokes.
Anywho, so now my finger is bandaged up and will be good as new tomorrow!
So aside from those two mishaps, the day was great.  I cleaned the kitchen, did laundry, cleaned the living room and got all set for my get together tonight.  When Stephanie got out of work, she came over and we went out with my feverish mother to get groceries, and boy was that an event.  The woman is crazy enough when she is healthy and coherent, but today she was super out of it and even sillier than usual due to her flu-like symptoms.
Needless to say (I always want to write it needlesstosay for some reason) it was a funny trip out.  And then Steph and I unloaded the million groceries while having a 'snowball fight' with the plastic bags at Lucia.  In preparation (pause: Stephanie is now sitting across from me being a complete nut and suddenly stopped, looked at me, and whispered don't even think about putting me in a straight jacket. yay for sleepovers!) for Greg and Beckie to come over, we got some pre-made cookie dough out (this probably breaks Tibbs' heart) and got out the good ol cookie cutters to make some holiday sugar cookie. Beckie arrived and helped us make all the cookies and Greg helped us decorate when he got there.  That's when things got interesting.

these are my beautifully designed cookies.  notice the bowtie.

some of our dazzling creations.

Of course, we four old friends can never just have an average night of cookie-making.  So, because Greg does not like to get messy and is so meticulous about his face, I slap some cream cheese frosting onto his cheek, which turns into a frosting beard, which turns into Beckie running over to also get a frosting beard, and Stephanie close behind to get hers.
Being the talented frosting artist that I am, I made sure to make all of the facial frostings different.

notice Beckie's twirly french mustache.  For the next thirty minutes Beckie walked around attempting a terrible french accent and saying random french words.  It was a good time.

Also, we found that the icing, being so thick, had a tendency to drip off of the face and onto garments and such.

My lovely creations.  That sounds super creepy but I was referring of course to the facial hair, not the actual people.

Anywho, after Lucia forced us all to wash off the frosting, we ate some of the delicious cookies and began a game of not disney scene it, but scattergories this time.  And I may just like scattergories even more than disney scene-it.  

Lucia even ended up joining us for a few rounds.  After two hours of laughing hysterically at how easily the game turned dirty, we took some lovely holiday photos (seriously, these beauties are fit for sending out as our official christmas cards).

Yes.  A lovely night indeed.  Now Stephanie and I are watching Freaky Friday and talking about boys and life and that good girly stuff.

And tomorrow I'm getting ice cream with a friend and then heading over to my cousins' house in Princeton for some fun family time which will be exciting.  And then when I come back on Friday, Steph and I will be going shopping for her boyfriend's Christmas present and then my mom's family will be arriving from Michigan.  Then it's Christmas Eve(my most favorite day of the entire year) and then Christmas!!

Also, the imaginary man left me a super nerdy christmas message today.  I swooned.

Goodnight for now and I will be back on friday!

Yet another symptom of my pending sickness:
I just had a super odd and scary dream and woke up at five am and haven't been able to get back to sleep.
It was very scary.  Sarah and I and a few random people from college were on a mission to save Kesha because she was locked in this weird mansion in different rooms and scary things kept happening and I woke up before we could save her.
So now it's 5:25 am and I'm sitting in the living room with all the lights on watching maid in manhattan and boy am I going to be tired later.
I'm still feeling super duper achy and my neck hurts but sometimes even I don't know if I'm just being dramatic or if I'm actually hurting as bad as I think.  So we'll ignore it for now, and call the doctor later.
I'm ignoring all symptoms because I've been waiting for wednesday ever since I got home because it's the only time all three of my best friends from home are available to hang out and be Christmas-y and festive.
Also, did you know that the male love interest/main character plays Voldemort?
Like, whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!
Jennifer Lopez kissed Voldemort.  Weird.
He's also the voice of Ramses in The Prince of Egypt.
Also, his birthday is tomorrow.  Happy Birthday to Voldemort!
So I guess I should try to fall asleep or something so I can make it through the whole day.
Boo.  I'll be back.

Also, as I was just looking up symptoms of tetanus, I read that your throat may swell or close up and just as I read it, I could feel my tonsils swelling.  I'm even a hypochondriac subconsciously.  And then I remembered that at school, Kesh was a walking virus the last time I saw her, my mom is home sick with the flu, Steph has a bad cough, and Beckie is coming down with some illness, all of which are people I've spent time with in the last five days.
I'm totally getting the flu.
Lucky for me, I get sick or injured almost every Christmas, so I'm a pro by now.

Sike, it always sucks being sick on Christmas.
Now to sleep for the next twelve hours...

So I don't get headaches.  If I do, they last maybe twenty minutes and never bother me enough to take medicine.  Well, yesterday I had a headache, and it didn't bother me that much but lasted pretty much all day, and in the last two hours my head has just been killing me.  And not to mention my neck.  I think I must have slept wrong the last two nights because my neck is also hurting really bad.  So, in light of my recent foot wound due to a rusty nail and in conjunction with my hypochondria, I'm now mildly convinced that I have tetanus and will likely die.
And it's not the dying that worries me, it's the locked jaw that comes from tetanus. Can you imagine having your jaw muscles locked?  Not speaking?! Anywho, I'm calling the doctor's office tomorrow to make sure I've had my tetanus shot in the last ten years, which I most likely have.  And then I can rest easy knowing that yet again, I am not dying.
But shoot could I use a neck massage right now...

Today I realized that I'm turning into a housecat.  I wake up at 9, lounge around lazily until taking a nap around three.  So sad.  So, because this is an embarrassingly accurate realization, I've decided I need to start making schedules.  I don't have high hopes for these schedules as I can never seem to follow them, but nevertheless I am going to try!  I have a schedule set for tomorrow, so we'll have to go from there.  The problem is that there is nothing to do, so most days there's very little to do besides lounging around and being a housecat.
Anywho, tomorrow I shall clean and run errands and go to the gym before my friends come over for the evening for christmas festivities!
I may even branch out and get a haircut.
Well, maybe not.  We don't want to push it.
I'm also quickly realizing just how much money this break is costing so far, which is turning out to be far too much.
Anywho, I'm off to spend more money going out to dinner with a friend!
Five Days Till Christmas!

Things Are Looking Up, Oh Finally.

Just spent two hours with my friend planning her wedding, oh and it was just what the doctor ordered.  I might even go to the gym and get up at a reasonable hour one of these days.
But you would be proud of me, I have yet to sleep past nine so far.  The wake-up training is in full swing!
As for now, I'm looking through wedding dresses and watching the princess and the frog before bed.  A lovely night it is.
Also, my favorite day of the entire year is only five days away.
I'd better start planning!

Oh boy am I bad at wrapping presents.
Also, I rescheduled my dentist appointment for this morning.  It was stressing me out far too much, so I'm gonna go in two weeks.  I realize this doesn't solve anything, but today just wasn't the day.
So instead I went shopping.  I had to get some presents for my cousin and sister from my mom, and then I had to get my sister a present.  I'm not a shopping type of girl, so I was expecting to go into the stoer I had planned on getting my sister's present at, picking something really quick, and leaving.  However, I ended up spending an hour and a half searching through different bins, racks, and shelves to find something she would like and use.  And I found the prettiest items ever, all for eleven dollars!  I'm being really vague in the off chance that my sister reads my blog, even though I'm 98% sure she doesn't even know it exists.  Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise!
Also, I spent ten minutes following Joey (my puppy) around the house because I asked him if he knew where the scotch tape was and it looked like he nodded.  I thought it would have been a funny story if he actually lead me to it.  Turns out he didn't actually know where it was.  Now Joey and I are snuggling up and watching I'll Be Home For Christmas.

So that's what's ahead of me for the day.  Bonding with Joey and watching Christmas movies.

Also, I just googled how long a cavity should take to be filled and the most legit looking site said between 5-10 minutes if it's a large cavity which means that my last forty five minute visit which consisted of painfully loud scraping and filling the entire time was way to long.  I'm tellin ya, this dentist hates me and wants me to suffer.
I wonder if dentist offices have comment cards...

Wanna know what I did today?  I went through and pulled up tabs of facebook photos of nine, yes NINE, of my friends' engagement rings and compared them.  I then proceeded to show them to my dad and ask his opinion, to which he told me to 'get help'.  Fun times.
And then my mom, Steph, and I went out to a 'living nativity' at a nearby church.  It was extraordinarily packed, which meant there was a lot of waiting, boredom, and because of the mixture of boredom and Lucia, embarrassing moments.  Lots of laughing, lots of immature behavior followed by more laughing.  So, it was good.
I can't decide if it's pathetic or nice that the most fun I'm having at home is with my mom.  I'm gonna go with nice.  Anywho, tomorrow morning I have to go to the dentist and get a cavity drilled, and then go to various stores to run errands for Lucia and get my sister a christmas present.  And then maybe I'll clean the house or write my resumé (finally).
We shall see.
On the plus side, I can now walk perfectly normally on my injured foot, although heels were not a smart choice for church this morning.
On the negative, I'm super super nervous/dreading the dentist tomorrow.  I'm probably one of the worst patients this guy has ever had.  I used to bite him all the time when I was little, and I think he holds a grudge on me because, let me tell you, this man is not gentle.  Also, I get very uncomfortable- like squirming, groaning, twitchingly uncomfortable- at the sound of something scraping, like an average teeth cleaning.  That mixed with the pressure of the cavity being filled is almost too much for me to handle.
I'm a very bad patient.
Anywho, I should get some sleep because the more I think of tomorrow morning's dentist trip, the more nervous I get.
Goodnight!

So, I just impaled my foot with a rusty nail while decorating the christmas tree and got my grades back for the semester.
Things get worse before they get better, right?

I'm Not Sure Why It Always Goes Downhill...

I'm really nervous about this Christmas.  My sister and I have been so rocky that we could potentially ruin it for each other.  My mom just told me that what I texted my sister last wednesday really upset her, so who knows how it will be when she gets here.  I'm very very very nervous.
It's times like these when I find myself terribly alone, with only my little blog to talk to.  Pathetic, I know.
Also, I just got back from a Christmas party at my old youth group, and my only friends ended up being married or both married and pregnant.  And all of my other friends (no exaggerations this time, I mean all) have serious boyfriends.  So that leaves me here, on my couch, sulking and wondering how I'm going to make it the next thirty days by myself with no one to talk to.
Expect many posts, my friends.

Home sweet home.  Right now my mom is across the room looking at me through a tube of wrapping paper.  Just another evening...
It's been a great first day here at home.  I cleaned my room and went out to dinner with my parents where we actually had good fun conversation for the entire time, and then later tonight I'm going to a youth group party to visit.  Everything is changing, it's so crazy.
Yet another Gordon girl has just gotten engaged... I swear Sarah and I have heard that freaking engagement bell ring every night.
It's an epidemic.

I like airports.  I hate security and bag check because I'm always afraid I'm going to forget to take my laptop out of the case or accidentally have a bottle of contact solution in my carry on, which have both happened before.  But now that I'm sitting here in the lovely Boston Logan Airport, it's nice.  There's a lot of glass.  I've been to quite a few airports in life and this one is probably the most swanky and well designed.
Anywho, I still have an hour and fifteen minutes until my plane leaves and I filled out a survey for an hour of free wifi, so here I am.  I look slightly ridiculous because I'm wearing all of the bulky clothes that don't fit in my suitcase, but I feel that if there's ever a place to dress oddly and not be judged too harshly, it's the airport.  Everyone here is so preoccupied with their flights and destinations, they don't care about my smurf boots or bulky sweaters.
I'm so excited to go home.  I'm excited to see my puppies and decorate my house and light smelly candles and SEE MY NEW CAR.
And he must be named, of course.  But what will it be...Jiminy or Pascal?
I'm going to keep you on the edge of your seats as I know you already are...
But for now I think I'm going to read some good ol harry potter and wait for my flight to arrive.
Happy travels!

So, I'm done.
This semester is officially over and I can leave it behind and never return to the terrors of the past.
And because I'm so focused on forgetting about this semester, I'm feeling the urge to clean and reorganize and change everything about the room to really have a fresh beginning.  I may even be inclined to clean the bathroom later.  Maybe.
I feel like I just need to wash the grime of this semester off, so maybe I'll get a new tattoo or dye my hair or chop it off or something.
And although it's really nice to have a day off to do nothing, I'm starting to lose my mind.  I don't even want to watch grey's anatomy.  This means serious business.
Lucky for me I have the best roommate ever who makes delicious baked delights.  At the moment we have mint chocolate chip cookies and chocolate chip lemon cake.
As for now, I think I shall clean out our refrigerator and reorganize everything I own and clean up.  I've already got two suitcases and a backpack packed and ready to go.  Too bad I have to wait for tomorrow morning to actually leave.
Anywho, I'm off to be productive!

"a moose that is about to take his scientific enterprise exam."

-Words of encouragement from Laura.

One exam left, and then I can sleep for a month.

Highlight of the day:
While sitting in the library doing my study guide for philosophy, I get a text from Sarah that just says 'there's a man in our bathroom'.
Oh man.  I just pictured Sarah walking into the room to find a man sitting on the bathroom floor just chillin and how much that would freak her out.
Of course, the man is there to fix our stupid shower, but I like my image better.

Bad day.  Bad, depressing, bad day.

I've had a lot of realizations today and now it's just a sad day.  And now I'm talking to the dream man who I will probably never see again, who I don't actually know and who is not the fictional character from my dream.

And then I talked to my sister, which always leaves me feeling bad, and this time I told her that it's a good thing that we are not going to New York together because we don't get along anyways.  Which is the truth.  But for some reason I feel really bad for saying that.  I didn't say it in a mean way, I even specified that I didn't mean it in a mean way, but shoot I feel so bad.  Maybe the fact that I'm defending myself so much means that it was wrong to say that.

Throughout the entire exam that I just took (old testament) all I could think of was if Heather and I will ever be really close again, like we were when I was in high school, and if I just made us take another step backwards.

And now I have two more exams tomorrow which will likely kill me.

The fictional character is helping me study and saying all the right things, and because of this I must now turn my computer off and reluctantly go back to reality.

Oh, but reality is so sad.

Sarah is finished with her finals!
And yes, I am talking about roommate Sarah and not referring to myself in third person.
She is finished, and I start in two and a half hours.
I honestly don't think that I can possible study old testament any more than I have.
As for now, I'm watching The Prince of Egypt and pointing out the inaccuracies with Sarah.  For example, Ramses' british accent.  That's the biggest one for me.
Anywho, I'm calling this studying.  It's refreshing my knowledge on the plagues and the exodus and such.
But in real life, I'm just waiting for two thirty to roll around so I can get this freaking exam finished.  No more old testament ever again!
And then I have to cram all of the philosophy and science material into my head tonight so that I can finish up tomorrow!
AND THEN I'M DONE.
Oh, how it feels so far away.
I need a good solid day of movies and nonsense.
Oh how excited I am for tomorrow at 4:30 when I am finished for good with this semester.

I'm A Sucker For A Kind Word.

Remember that english guy that I dreamt about last week?  He facebook chatted me today.  Literally the second I started studying, he chatted me and all hopes flew out the window.
Whyyyyyy.
Why am I such a sucker for this nonsense and why do I even care if he chats me?
He told me he'd skype me in a few days.
I'm dying.
Oh man do I need to get a life.

Oh, how I hate this week.  This has been, as I predicted, the longest three days ever, and it's only 4pm.  I've still got about 22 hours until finals begin for me, by which point most of my friends (if not all) will be finished with their finals.  And I'll be crying.

I just can't study any more.  Three solid days of cramming information into my head is turning it into mush!  And the worst part is I know there is more that I need to study.  I just can't do it.

My plan for the day is to clean, put comfy clothes on, and get down to business.

One two more days...

The movie was really good in my opinion.  Way better than the second and third, but we all know that the first cannot be beat.
What's interesting me now is an anonymous tweeter going by the name xoxoGordonGirl.  Much like the figure gossipgirl from the popular books/tv show, gordongirl is spotting, gossiping, and tweeting all over campus.  She sees all, and she assures 'followers' that her identity, of course, is a secret she'll never tell.  And again much like the tv show, we're all following her tweets, right to our phones.
Kudos, gordongirl, you're a hit.
xoxo

Finals Week!

Johnny Depp is so funny.  He's one of my favorite actors, and his character in Pirates of the Caribbean just cracks me up.  I'm watching the most recent one (the fourth?) now, and although everyone I know has said it sucks, I'm really liking it so far.
Anywho, it's day two out of three of studying/prep for finals.  My first final is tuesday at 2:30, and strangely enough, Sarah's last final ends tuesday at 11am.  So she'll be finished before I even start.  But so far I think I'm doing alright.  I'm going to really have to crack down on the studying tomorrow, but if I work diligently, I should be set for my first final.
Old testament on Tuesday, examined life at 9am on wednesday, and scientific enterprise at 2:30 on wednesday and then I'm done.  I can do laundry and start packing and be the happiest slug all day on thursday.
Then friday morning I depart!  And I'm FLYING.  I cannot express the joy I have knowing that I do not have to drive or take a bus home.
Also, my parents found me a car!  From what I hear it's a lovely green 2004 Hyundai Accent.  What excites me most is that this car is a solid five years younger than Benny, and Benny worked fantastically.  So I can't even imagine how nice this car must be. I'm so excited.
Naming him will come later, once I've driven and seen him in person.  But from the photos and what I know of him, it's between Pascal(the chameleon from Tangled), Jiminy(cricket), Hugo, or Luigi.
We shall see.
As for now, I'm gonna eat some ice cream, finish this movie, then continue onto my never ending studying.

This nightmare of a day turned out to be a gem.

Who'da thought?

I had a women's lit final at 8am, and even though it was nearly two hours of talking about bizarre personal opinions about love and marriage at the crack of dawn, it went well and we got good grades.

And then right after I went to my old testament re-take and I think I did well.  And then I climbed back into bed and watched Anastasia and napped until work, which is where I currently am.  And it's been a very nice day of babysitting.  I've only been here since around three, and all I've had to do was take the oldest to her friend's house and I'll be leaving soon to go back.

And then I'm getting pretty and going to the cheesecake factory with my favorite ladies.

Tis a lovely day after all!

And then I have three days of solid studying, three exams, a day of packing and being a slug, and then I'm off to jersey for a month!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

we are His portion and He is our prize,
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way that He loves us.

This house is filled with children.  I can't focus on my homework because I'm intently listening to the youngest and his friend playing downstairs, thinking every shout is actually a yelp of pain and every thud is someone getting hurt.
I'm turning into a mom.
So instead I have one ear bud in, listening to 'he's just not into you' and the other ear monitoring the kids.
Also, I just love this movie.  I love all chick flicks.  I'm afflicted.
Anywho, I am officially finished with classes this semester.  Finished.
I never have to go to another one of these terrible core classes again.  Now, the hard part begins.  Studying.
I'm going to make a study schedule, although it's unlikely that I will follow it.  As much as I'd like to be disciplined, it never works out.
Also, I'm freezing.  Wednesdays are always cold days here in babysitting land.  This week I even brought my own blanket which I am now wrapped in, and I'm still shivering.
Since I can't do homework or study, I'm going to plan out my studying and try to be as productive as I can.
Happy rainy wednesday!

I'm Obsessing, I Know.

I'm in love with love.

Mint Milkshakes and Confessions

I'm drinking the most delicious mint shake right now.
Also,
I fall for people easily.  Too easily.  This semester I am proud to say that I have not liked a single person, but that's beside the point.
Almost two years ago I went to Mississippi for a missions trip with some adults from my church, and met a guy on the second to last day who worked for the organization we were volunteering with.  He was from England and wooed me with his charming accent and witty English banter.
Since then we talk every once and a while, but he's working in Fiji now (the most random place) so we speak less often.
Well, I dreamt about him last night.  I dreamt about him and now he's all I can think of, this English man that I barely know.  And It's silly, me pining for a man who doesn't even live on the same continent as me.  Nevertheless, it's there.
These stinking dreams.  They're always so real, when I wake up I have to take a minute and realize where I am and that it was a dream.
And then it leaves me daydreaming about a random person and watching excessive amounts of chick flicks.
Stupid fantastic dreams.

I'm in a mooood! A fairytale romantic comedy daydreaming mood.
Unfortunately, I have a major project due tomorrow as well as an exam friday and three more exams next week.  I don't have time for such moods.
It's all because of my dream last night.  I was perfectly happy being miserable about finals and then this dream came along and now I'm useless, listening to south pacific and not working.

The Sarah Suite is a disgusting place and it is only the least bit our fault.  Most of the time it's gross because there's clothes and dirty dishes and such, but even when it's the cleanest it can be, it's disgusting.

The plumbing, for example, is most likely ancient and therefore every time Sarah or I take a shower, the tub fills up as well because the drain doesn't work properly.  It was scrubbed and a week later was disgusting again.

Also, there are stink bugs.

Stink bugs.  

We've had three instances in the last month and these are not super fun critters.  First of all, they fly.  I hate things that fly, and the bigger, the more I freak out.  These stink bugs are large.  And you can't even smush them because they smell up the place and I imagine they'd goo all over wherever they are smushed.

And because of this, I have just emailed the RD of the dorm I lived in last year to see if there are any open rooms that Sarah and I might move into next semester.

If we moved we would have a lovely room with a bathroom, free toilet paper, no bugs, lounges everywhere, more laundry machines, and be closer to kesh and lizard.  But then we'd be farther from classes and every building, and also Laura wouldn't be able to come into our rooms and just sit on the floor and be silly.  It would be sad.

It's a tough decision.  If Laura was moving with us, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

But, we shall see.

For now, I am off to sleep.

(eleven days)

The Very Long Account of our Adventures in New York.

So, thanksgiving break Sarah and I visited my Aunt and Uncle in New York and had a multitude of adventures.
Homie dropped Sarah and I off at the train station in the morning and I had the nagging feeling that I had forgotten something.  I shrugged it off and probably about twenty minutes later, while we were on the train to the city, I realized what I had forgotten.
The tickets.
The tickets for our orchestra section seats to see Mary Poppins on broadway that night.  The gift from my aunt.  The tickets.
So, I called my mom and asked her to go to my room and check under the fan on my dresser, and, sure enough, there they were.  Then, I started silently panicking.  I looked over at Sarah and tried to decide whether I should tell her and completely freak her out or just keep silent until I figured this out.  Ten minutes later, my mom called at said that Homie had talked to my aunt and she had printed out copies of the tickets the week before, just in case.
So that's how the trip started.
Then, we got to Penn Station in Manhattan, hopped the 2 train to Brooklyn, and then heard the announcement on the subway:  The 2&3 trains which usually run from Manhattan to Brooklyn were not running to Brooklyn over the weekends due to construction, so we had to find a station which had transfers to the 4&5 trains.  Basically, we got off and on a few subways, and eventually got to where we had to make a transfer, but then we couldn't find the station because we had to go up to the street and walk a block to it.  Eventually, we went into a starbucks and asked for directions and found the right station, which lead us to the right train, which finally got us into Brooklyn to the correct stop.
All the while, mind you, we are each carrying an overstuffed suitcase and an overly packed backpack.  You should have seen us trying to get around the subway stations with all that stuff.
So then, once we get to our long-awaited subway stop, we have to walk about 12-15 blocks to my Aunt's street, and then another two blocks to her house.  All the while carrying giant and heavy backpacks and trucking along our suitcases.  And, it was hot.  Unseasonably warm, which made the trek all the more uncomfortable.
The funniest part was when we get to my Aunt's lovely house in Brooklyn Heights, carry our crap up the stoop, and collapse inside of the house.  Instead of carrying our things up the three large flights of stairs, Sarah simply says 'no' and we go to the back patio and collapse into the chairs and catch our breaths.
But, we had arrived.

After an hour of decompressing, we met up with my aunt, my cousin Susannah, and her daughters Arianna and Victoria for lunch at this bizarre russian/polish/? place.  It was actually really good, but very odd.  The water tasted like cucumbers and everything looked extra healthy and vegan-ized.  Also Sarah had this weird beat&dill ice cream that she really liked.
Anywho, after that we went back to the house and relaxed for a bit before preparing ourselves for the night ahead.  A few hours of hair, make-up, and clothes later we were heading the twelve blocks back to the train station to get to Times Square.  By the time we got there, we had about an hour before dinner, which we spent walking around Times Square and into my favorite store: M&M world!

Such fun.  Then we went to the middle of Times Square and up the risers to overlook the entire area.  And snapped a few spiffy photos, of course.

Then we went on the search for our restaurant, Orso.  Once we got there we slipped our heels on outside, checked our coats inside, and found our table with our Aunt.  A few minutes and slices of delicious bread and bean dip later, my uncle, cousin, cousin's boyfriend, and uncle's mother arrived and we began dinner.  I feel like it went so quickly, the dinner.  Since Sarah and I had a show to make, my aunt had us flying through courses, which she of course made sure included appetizer, entree, and dessert.  I wish we had more time, it's always so much fun going out with my family.
Anywho, when it got to a certain time Sarah and I were told it was time to leave and we got our coats and were on our way!
Once we got there, we of course took more photos with the Mary Poppins posters.

 the beautiful theater.

The show was pretty good.  I liked the dancing and the child actors were really impressive.  I'm not a fan of the story of Mary Poppins, so parts of it were kind of boring, but overall it was good.

After the show we walked up the street to find a cab.  Then up another street.  Then down another street.  We walked in and out of times square for at least 20 minutes looking for a cab.  All the while still wearing heels.  Finally we found a cab and he took us back to brooklyn where we packed up and passed out.

Also, Sarah had some shoe issues, but we won't go into that.

The next morning my Aunt&Uncle took Sarah and I out to lunch in battery park.

This photo is us standing in front of the sphere that was taken from the lobby of the World Trade Center.

The view in battery park.

my aunt&uncle.

our fantastic lunch in the park.  So incredibly delicious.

Sarah's bread pudding.

My chocolate lava cake with hazelnut ice cream and raspberry drizzle.

After dessert I went to the restroom, and when I came out my Aunt was digging through her purse looking distressed.  We had about an hour until our train left from Grand Central Station, and my Aunt just realized that she had misplaced her car keys, which was a problem because all of our luggage was locked in her car.  Now, my aunt is an extremely responsible and organized woman, so she jumped at the most efficient solution and hopped a cab back to Brooklyn to get her spare set, while Sarah and I waited by the car with my uncle.

In about twenty minutes, my aunt was back, we found the keys in a bag in her back seat, and we were off to grand central, expecting to catch a later train than expected.  However, we got to the station at 1:43, my aunt ran us to the ticket station, bought our tickets, and ran us to the platform where we boarded the train at 1:46.  The train left at 1:48, as originally planned.

Full of adventures, and such a fun trip.

The train took us to Laura's house, where we loaded up her car and left for school.

And, here I am.  A week later, finally updating all of your eager readers (Sarah).

12 days till my flight takes me home for a month!

My mom called me last night and asked me if I wanted to transfer schools.  It was so sad.  Even though life sucks right now, the idea of leaving Gordon is really sad.  But the idea of staying is really sad too.  I could go on and on about why I'm unhappy with life at Gordon (or perhaps life in general?), but I'll spare you.
All I want to do is sleep and watch grey's anatomy.
Anywho, I don't think I'll transfer.  I'll see how next semester goes, but I've already taken all of the terrible core classes, so it'd mean the last two hellish years of classes were for nothing.
The really sad part was when my mom texted me today and told me that she would pay for me to go to the Christmas ball because she would love to see me go.  Why don't I go places?  Why don't I hang out with all of the friends I had last year?  Why don't I ever want to leave my room?
Oh well.  The semester is almost over and then I can start over.  Be happier.  Be better.

I miss the days in elementary school when teachers spent less time on lessons and more time on Christmas decorations and such.  My favorite time would be the few half-days before Christmas break when the school would watch elf and other fun christmas movies during school instead of lessons.  It was so nice, being so celebratory in the old days.
And Sarah and I are bringing it back.
We've decided tomorrow will be christmas day/night.  We're going to watch fun christmas movies and bake christmas cookies and cook dinner and be festive.  There will probably be some obscure christmas crafts in there somewhere as well, especially if kesha joins us.
Christmas!  Excitement!