2012 is coming to a close.  The fact that I have time to write this blog post means that little is happening for me tonight.
I had plans to go to two different parties tonight, but they both fell through.
So Heather, Russell, and I went to Tim's house where his family was having a family party.  It was actually pretty fun, but we only stayed for about an hour.  Now Heather and I are wearing footy pajamas and about to watch Dark Shadows.
So sad.
I was originally planning to look at my grades for this semester after I return from Ireland so as not to stress me out (these grades determine my study abroad), but now I'm thinking hey, could I really make tonight any worse?
I hate not having plans.  Hate hate hate it.  Especially on New Years Eve.
Tomorrow will be fun, as Lucia, Homeboy, Heather and I are going to Philadelphia to have a fancy breakfast with my Aunt & Uncle, and then we are seeing the Mummers Parade.  So that'll be fun.
And then I have to drive back to Gordon, and the next day depart for Ireland.
I am terrified.
But anyways, let's do a recap of 2012, shall we?  For this, I will consult my Facebook and iCalendar for accuracy.  We'll do tweets as well.

January:
My January 1, 2012 Facebook status says I watched Insidious with Beckie and Steph.  Bad idea.  There was many a nightmare because of that movie.  I had a really really great night sometime this month where Stephanie and I stayed up till four am watching disney movies and playing battleship.    And then I returned to school and began my terrible classes, including Astronomy.

February:
Gordon Globes, rainforest cafe with friends, salsa clubbing with Tibbs, Kesh, Eli & Laura, and the worst Valentines Day ever.  I sat in purple gum at a basketball game.

March:
Stephanie came to visit!  Spring break came and I went on a terrifying adventure into Chinatown, NY with Heather and Aunt Sue to get a fake Louis Vuitton purse.  Terrifying, yet successful.  Then I hopped a plane with Liz and Laura and had such a fun vacation in Chicago visiting Chelsea.  It was one of the best vacations.  We played banana grams and woke up each morning to disney music.  We saw the Chicago river dyed green for Saint Patricks Day.  It was freakishly hot.  Chelsea came to visit two weeks after we returned to school.  I also began the Pretty Little Liars obsession this month, according to Twitter.

April:
Easter Break at Kesha's!  So fun, I have the best time at Kesha's.  I got pulled over for the first time in NH, so that was fun.  We also discovered the cutest cafe ever created (which has since closed).  I saw the Hunger Games in theatres this month, sparking another obsession.  I got hired for adventure camp and had my training this month.  Met my people.  Golden goose was this month, loved it.  Teebs, Kesh, and I picked out our urns.  Quote of the month by Kesha: "It makes me sad when the urns are out of stock."

May:
Bombed my finals, went home.  Lucia taught me how to break into our house with a credit card.  Went mini golfing for Steph's birthday.    Went to Brooklyn for Victoria's (my niece) baptism.

June:
Adventure Camp.  Failed at everything for most of June, then finally got into the swing of things towards the end.  Walked past Adam Sandler and his family in the mall.  Freaked out.

July:
Spent fourth of July week at Kesha's.  Went hiking & off-roading with her mom.  Got my lip pierced.  Continued adventure camp.

August:
Left adventure camp.  Turned 20.  Saw Newsies on Broadway.  Went to Disney World  [***highlight of 2012***]

September:
Directed a photo shoot in the rain.  Got pulled over again for speeding with no consequence.

October:
Heather visited.  We went on a candlelit tour through Salem.  Definitely a highlight.  Sarah turned 21, & went to her first party. Got accepted into Ireland trip.  Started caring about Politics.

November:
Got baptized.  Saw Peter and the Starcatcher on Broadway.  Thanksgiving at home with my crazy goofy family.

December:
Here we are.  Great Christmas, great Hannukah weekend in NH, and preparing for Ireland!

2012 was half terrible, half amazing.  I made a lot of stupid mistakes that have (cheesy) become good lessons.
I'm bringing in the New Year with an open mind, so so thankful for my life.
Happy New Year, friends.

WHY ARE IRISH MEN SO ATTRACTIVE?
Seriously.
Shoot.
Let me give some examples.
Aidan Turner (Kili in the Hobbit)

Robert Sheehan (Nathan in Misfits)

Eoin Macken

And of course, Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Ah, the irish.  The accents are what really kill me.
I've been looking up the scenery and I'M SO EXCITED.
All of it.
Ireland.
Ah.

Les Mis.

I saw it.
Aaron Tveit & Eddie Redmayne.  Shoot.  We'll get to that.
It was beautifully done, in my opinion.  There was a lot of criticism on the cinematography, but I thought it was really well done.
Anne Hathaway was incredible.  Incredible.  She deserves that Oscar.
Hugh Jackman is also an incredible actor, however I was just the tiniest bit disappointed with his singing in some of the songs because he had a tendency to whisper or speak-sing parts that I have heard belted.  This was actually a recurring issue.  Because I've been non stop listening to Les Mis soundtracks for a while, I have a certain idea of what I want the songs to sound like.  Samantha Barks could have done so much better in my opinion.
I saw her concert Les Mis performance and she was way more expressive and loud and passionate.  She just seemed super toned down for the movie, which was probably on purpose because in reality Eponine isn't a super large role as her character isn't in the movie for long.
I've heard lots of people were unhappy with Amanda Seyfried's performance, but I actually thought she was great.  No complaints there.
Okay.
Eddie Redmayne.

I'm in love with him (surprise).
As you may know, I've been obsessed with 'empty chairs at empty tables'.  I was pretty certain I was going to hate it in the movie because it would be different.  But shoot.  It was intense.  And one of my favorite parts of the movie.  He did so well.  It was so sad and his voice is beautiful.

I think that the group songs were the best, especially Red & Black and One Day More.  So good.
I think the casting was brilliant, and I think the barricade scenes were the greatest.  So emotional.
Aaron Tveit is so incredibly attractive.  So so so so so attractive.

His (Enjolras) death was really intense as well.
It killed me.
I loved it.
Well done, Les Mis.


Except now, as you might have guessed, I'm awake at 2am watching youtube clips of everything Aaron Tveit's ever performed in...
Including Next to Normal.

Once Upon A Christmas: Millington Edition

Christmas.
It came and went, and now sets in the mix of depression that it's over and the fuzzy memories of "did Christmas even happen?"
Our Christmas was wonderful.  I was woken up at 8am to everyone already downstairs drinking coffee and shuffling around.  So we open presents, and I got a lot of really cool stuff like the sweetest lime green suitcase ever (Ireland!!!) and a Tangled mug with my name on it and a picture of my family at Disney.
Stephanie's Christmas plans were cancelled so she came over in the morning and stayed till after dinner, so that was awesome.  My family is crazy, they're so fun.

Even Homie is referring to Stephanie as our sister.  [tangent: last night Steph fell dead asleep on the couch while Heather, Lucia and I were talking in the living room, so we put a blanket on her and turned all the lights off except for the Christmas tree next to her and went to bed.  It was really precious.]
After everyone left, Homie, Heather, Lucia, and I watched Philadelphia.
One of the best films I've ever seen.  Homie cried.  It was great.
And now it's over and I have four days left of break.
So so so sad.  I don't want to leave.
But it's Ireland, and it's going to be great.  Ireland.  Ireland.  Ireland.
As for now, Heather's got me addicted to a new tv show: Misfits.

Beautiful british people and beautiful camera work.
American tv just seems lazy now.
I now feel that I will be spending the next four days of my break watching show like Sherlock, Skins UK, Downton Abbey, and of course, all four seasons of Misfits.
Ambitious, so we'll see.
Hope your Christmases were lovely...look out for the arrival of Heather's podcasts.
<3

For some reason I decided it would be good to rent Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter today.  Why?  I think I thought it was so hilariously ridiculous that it must be entertaining.
I am rarely not entertained by a movie.  This movie is horrendous.  It's still going right now because Lucia is adamant about "seeing what happens", but I can assure you that nothing is happening.
Meanwhile, Heather is next to me trying out her new toy.  Today she went to Best Buy with her Christmas money and bought a microphone that records directly into her ipod.  Heather and I have had a few discussions with various people that have turned out to be pretty funny, which has prompted her to invest in the idea of starting a podcast.
So she bought a microphone.
The next step, she insists, is drinking wine and conversing with the family.
This will be interesting.
As for now, as we "watch" this terrible movie, Heather is sitting next to me with her earbuds in, listening to herself as she talks (and laughs) into the microphone.  And so the adventure of the Millington Podcast begins.

Today I think of the families of the twenty children who died eleven days ago.  The stacks of presents that will remain unopened until the parents can muster up enough strength to deal with them.
The stockings, the ornaments, the holiday pajamas...the most pure symbols of the holiday season tainted as reminders of the devestation.
I find it really difficult to enjoy my new things when there are so many parents grieving over the reality that their children will never receive those presents chosen so carefully and lovingly for them.
Grief.  I can't imagine.
I keep catching myself asking why.  Why did Adam kill them?  Why did he, a person with a name and a favorite color and a family, make the decision to hurt innocent children?  Why?

My God, What A World You Love.

So I'm home.  Christmas break, and I'm home.
And my family is hysterical.
My grandmom is visiting with us, and so after going out to dinner I drove the five of us around my town to look at Christmas decorations.
Grandmom loves the decorations.
So we're driving around the neighborhood while every person in the car makes their own sarcastic comments about the hideous blow-up santas and twinkle lights, and every time we pass a house that isn't decorated Homie mutters 'jewish'.  They all think their so funny.
But they kind of are.
BUT TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS EVE.
So I'm pumped.
Also I had an amazing dream last night about Freckle.  Freckle is a boy I've had a crush on from school.
It was precious.
This is a really random rambling of of my life as of now.
Anywho.
Bedtime.
Tired.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE.
<3

you're gonna leave all of this behind
into the deep with a fist of light; you're gonna be all right.

My body is so tired.
Today was stressful.  We (Liz, Kesh, Tibbs & I) had to move our stuff out of our rooms and into storage at our apartment building.  Lots of stuff, lots of energy.  And it was stressful because we have so much crap.  I think Sarah and I have significantly more crap than Kesh and Liz, and it took forever to haul it all out.  And then we ran out of room in storage.  So in the morning I have to load everything up again and bring it to the house I babysit at because the mother so kindly is allowing me to store all my extra crap in her basement.  And then we load up the remaining crap, and Laura and I will leave.
Lots of tired.
I want to go home.
I'm so so tired and I just want to be home.
I need a neck massage.
Also, Tibbs is on a date.
A DATE.
With a really really great guy and I'm sooooo excited for her and I'm dying to know everything.
It's their first date.
It's her first date ever.
And he's so great.
Jealous?
Of course.
But so so so happy for her.
Also, I had a really successful shopping day.
There's an FYE near my school that's closing so it's having a huge sale.  So being the movie junkie that I am, I bought ten movies...but all for under 30 dollars!
So excited.
Oh man, but so sleepy.
I think I had a dream that the people I babysit for told me I could nap while the kids are asleep.
I can't tell if that was a dream or if they have actually told me that.
I think I just really want to sleep.
Goodnight, friends!
[don't worry, I'm not really going to sleep while babysitting]
[[i'll update you on Tibbs's date sometime soon]]
<3

SARAH[TIBBS] IS GOING ON A DATE TOMORROW!!!!
She's currently involved in a long email conversation with said boy.
Meanwhile my night consists of Adam Chanler-Berat singing me to sleep.
If only he was attracted to women.
And I knew him.
And we had anything in common.


Depressing.

Sandy Hook Elementary is a little less than three hours away from Gordon.  A six year old girl was killed in the shooting; her father is an alumnus of Gordon.  At least seventeen other kids were killed.
My church here in Beverly had already scheduled a 'special event' for this Sunday, and they decided that even in light of the recent tragedy, they were going to follow through with their original plans.
So after our pastor preached about the tragedy and we all cried for the kids and families, a group of about ten pre-schoolers went on stage and sung 'This Little Light of Mine', followed by some elementary school kids singing a Christmas carol.  We all cried.
How could someone hurt a child?
He was my age, the kid that open fired at that school.  He killed his mom, teachers, six year olds.  
How do you go on from this?  How do you live your life after someone murders your baby girl while they are at school?
I can't stop thinking about this.
These kids, agh they were just kids!  How do you respond, cope, help?
After the kids sang in church today, we all sang the chorus 'Because You're with me, I will not fear' for a while.  And I kept imagining these arms ushering kids away from the pain and into heaven at that school, unafraid because they were being led in.  If only it were that peaceful.
They were just kids.

I feel so so guilty.
I just read a letter I've received from Deisy, the little girl I sponsor in Colombia.  I haven't gotten one of her letters for somewhere around six months, and to be honest I haven't thought about her as often as I should.
I've sponsored this little girl for the past four years now, and she really loves me.  She has so little but she seems so happy and so in awe of life and animals and the ocean.  She ends every letter with telling me she thanks God for my life.  She sends me in this letter Psalm 9:10.
Those who know Your name trust in You,
for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.
She's so smart; she started writing to me in her own handwriting when she was six and I remember being so surprised at how well she wrote.  She tells me in this letter that she's gotten excellent grades this semester, as she always has.  She asks me if I'm proud of her.
I like to think that she's a little like me; she tells me she likes to daydream and she loves wearing ribbons in her hair and playing with dolls.
She tells me her wish this Christmas is to someday hear my voice.

Who am I to mean so much to this little girl?

So we've arrived (Kesh, Teebs&I) in New Hampshire to celebrate Christmas and Hanukah.
This place just feels like home.
I love everything about being at Kesha's.
Also, I've been listening to this band and I'm getting obsessed.
It's called Right Away Great Captain!
And I love it.


We're cutting down a Christmas tree today.
Words cannot express my excitement.
I love friends and Christmas and New Hampshire and cold.
Joy.

The last 24 hours need to be explained.
Or rather, recorded.
Because they were weird.
So things were crazy with my schedule yesterday.  I went to class and found out in class that Kesh, Lizard, Tibbs, and I got an apartment for next semester!  Liz's friend Kitty will also be living with us, and I'm so so excited.
After class I went to my professor's office and filmed him for a bit and then got lunch.  After lunch I went to my room with Kesh and tried to figure out a budget for next semestr (fail), and then I had to go pick up Jack from school.  So after that I got dinner with Kesh, and then I ran around like a crazy person trying to find two people to help Ari and I film that night (fail).
Before I knew it it was time to begin filming (8pm).
Our goal was to get to the train station before 8:25 so we could film the train leaving, but on the way there we realized Ari was out of gas so we had to stop, and consequently missed the train.  Also, at the last minute (literally, as we were about to pull out of Gordon) a Gordon student Ari met a week ago said he'd help us with sound, so we got to go pick him up and take him with us and our actors.
Anywho we missed the train, but it was fine because another one came like twenty minutes later.  Ari's other friend, Ronnie, met us at the train station as well to help, so that was fantastic.
Filming was really good and really stressful because it was dark, Ari and I were tired, and we both film very different ways.  I like to reshoot every shot about four times before moving on and Ari likes to be very precise in one shoot and wrap it and move on.  But it worked out, I'd say.  We got a lot of really good shots, and we even recruited some guys on the street to act for one scene.  We began filming about 8:15, and we wrapped at 11:30.  Then we all went to McDonald's to feed our cast and crew, and then we went back to Gordon to drop Olivia and Pierre, our actors, off at their dorms.  The rest of us (Ari and her friends Ronnie and Josh) decided to take a break and chill together before going on to edit.
So we decide to take Josh's hookah to a nearby soccer field and smoke.
So we go, and we do.  The boys were so funny and we all had a lot of fun getting to know each other and being goofy.  It was such a fun time, driving around and smoking and laughing and talking with good people you don't know.
By the way, did you know that smoking hookah in a soccer field is totally legal?
I didn't.
While we were sitting there a police car drove up and said hello, and Josh said hey and that we were smoking some hookah.  The officer asked if we were from Gordon, we said yes, and he chuckled and told us to have a good night.
So we did.
And at two am, while laying on the pavement talking and looking at the moon, we decided it was time to go back and get to editing.
So we dropped the boys off, and Ari and I went to CVS to get some coffee/soda/snacks for editing.  When we returned to Gordon, around 2:40am I run into my room and change out of my wet clothes (we had been sitting on wet pavement at the field) and took out my contacts, and on we go to Barrington to begin editing.
Except it was locked.
So we call GoPo.
And they tell us that we aren't permitted in without a written note after 2am.
News to us.
So i go back to my room and sleep for two hours, got up at 5:30 and walked to the lab and edited for three hours till my class at 9am.
Went to class.
Went to chapel.
Got lunch.
Now I'm going to take a shower and go to my three hour class.
After class I have a panel for sustainability to go to for chapel credit, and then a meeting with my floor.
And then I can sleep, I suppose.
Unless I have homework due tomorrow.
I haven't even checked.