Today I am thankful for cold(ish) weather and good friends. Even though we argue and complain, we end most days watching a movie or hanging out together.
Sleep is the enemy these days.
So much to do and so many friends to spend time with. As we get closer to the end of the semester, the more I sacrifice sleep for friend-time.
I don't want to leave.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
So much to say!
Things are in full swing around here. We had our first two days of filming "We Meet Again" this past weekend and two more to come. I'm producing it with Kyle, so we have our hands full. It's going well.
At work we are in the middle of the American Film Market, so we are getting a ton of submissions for the company to look over and see if we want to buy. So I'm doing a lot of coverage, which I LOVE. Coverage just means that I watch one of the films or read a script and then write a logline, synopsis, and comments on what I think about that project. Today I wrote two script coverage reports and two films. Last week I made a comment about liking horror movies and ever since I have been given horror scripts and movies. Which is great and I love it--but shoot some of these are terrifying. Or disturbing.
But coverage is my favorite.
Nathan Johnson came to speak to my class yesterday! He scored Brick, Looper, and Don Jon among other things. And his cousin is Rian Johnson, which is the director of Brick and Looper. He had a really great perspective and was really inspiring and encouraging about being an artist. So now all I want to do is create things all of the time.
But then there is the other thing...I'm exhausted. The most tired I have ever been in my entire life. Right now I barely have the energy to type this out...and it's only 7:30. I have a ton to do tonight. But shoot. No energy. I think it's probably because we're in the middle of production and I have a thousand things to do every day, but even still, I'm wiped out.
So yes.
LA.
Everything is lovely and I've been going back and forth about staying here next semester to begin my career. Why go back for a semester where I'll be miserable and losing connections? I talked to Lucia about it today and she told me to do what I gotta do, but if I'm not going back next semester then I'm gonna have to stay here for Christmas because we can't afford to send me home and back.
99% sure I'm going back to Gordon next semester.
I'm excited to see my friends and to have some chill time. But at the same time, going back is like taking a step backwards. I feel like an adult out here because I'm working at a legit company and living in an apartment and producing a film...so how could I go back to being a student? Feels backwards and I do not like backwards.
But I think that I need to go back to Gordon.
So I think I will.
So many decisions. Who knows where I will be in seven months. So scary.
SEVEN MONTHS till I graduate college.
Thank the Lord.
I'm over student-life. I'm ready to have a job and be independent and ahhhh, I'm so excited.
So that's a chunk of my life as of now.
Also, I'm kind of a coffee drinker now, and I kind of hate myself for that.
It's a means of survival.
Also also EIGHT DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN. Love Halloween. I wish my sister and I could be together for it.
Lucia sent me a halloween package, as always. They're the best.
She also walked around our front yard and down the street in Jersey to collect a bag of colorful autumn leaves. She sent them to me. I teared up. My mom is the best and I really do miss the east coast & all of the things/people that go with it.
But I have some photos to edit and a script to work on, so I must depart.
Happy Wednesday, friends!
Things are in full swing around here. We had our first two days of filming "We Meet Again" this past weekend and two more to come. I'm producing it with Kyle, so we have our hands full. It's going well.
At work we are in the middle of the American Film Market, so we are getting a ton of submissions for the company to look over and see if we want to buy. So I'm doing a lot of coverage, which I LOVE. Coverage just means that I watch one of the films or read a script and then write a logline, synopsis, and comments on what I think about that project. Today I wrote two script coverage reports and two films. Last week I made a comment about liking horror movies and ever since I have been given horror scripts and movies. Which is great and I love it--but shoot some of these are terrifying. Or disturbing.
But coverage is my favorite.
Nathan Johnson came to speak to my class yesterday! He scored Brick, Looper, and Don Jon among other things. And his cousin is Rian Johnson, which is the director of Brick and Looper. He had a really great perspective and was really inspiring and encouraging about being an artist. So now all I want to do is create things all of the time.
But then there is the other thing...I'm exhausted. The most tired I have ever been in my entire life. Right now I barely have the energy to type this out...and it's only 7:30. I have a ton to do tonight. But shoot. No energy. I think it's probably because we're in the middle of production and I have a thousand things to do every day, but even still, I'm wiped out.
So yes.
LA.
Everything is lovely and I've been going back and forth about staying here next semester to begin my career. Why go back for a semester where I'll be miserable and losing connections? I talked to Lucia about it today and she told me to do what I gotta do, but if I'm not going back next semester then I'm gonna have to stay here for Christmas because we can't afford to send me home and back.
99% sure I'm going back to Gordon next semester.
I'm excited to see my friends and to have some chill time. But at the same time, going back is like taking a step backwards. I feel like an adult out here because I'm working at a legit company and living in an apartment and producing a film...so how could I go back to being a student? Feels backwards and I do not like backwards.
But I think that I need to go back to Gordon.
So I think I will.
So many decisions. Who knows where I will be in seven months. So scary.
SEVEN MONTHS till I graduate college.
Thank the Lord.
I'm over student-life. I'm ready to have a job and be independent and ahhhh, I'm so excited.
So that's a chunk of my life as of now.
Also, I'm kind of a coffee drinker now, and I kind of hate myself for that.
It's a means of survival.
Also also EIGHT DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN. Love Halloween. I wish my sister and I could be together for it.
Lucia sent me a halloween package, as always. They're the best.
She also walked around our front yard and down the street in Jersey to collect a bag of colorful autumn leaves. She sent them to me. I teared up. My mom is the best and I really do miss the east coast & all of the things/people that go with it.
But I have some photos to edit and a script to work on, so I must depart.
Happy Wednesday, friends!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
The bodies we loved, locked away into the earth.
Hidden from sight, stolen from the fingers that reach for
them.
Preserved and condemned all at once.
All we wanted was to keep you.
With blistered hands we dug into the ground
Clawed through the dirt and stone to get to you
We bled and cried to retrieve you
But when we got to you, you were already gone.
The bodies we loved, empty beneath our feet
Shells reminding us of what once was and what will never
again be
Preserved and condemned, all at once.
They sleep as we reach.
Monday, October 7, 2013
The Road Trip [Part One].
There are so many movies about epic, life-changing road trips. I've always heard that that's the thing you do in college, like a rite of passage. Be adventurous, try new things, drive across country.
I am not a road trip type of girl.
I'm not adventurous and I hate driving, so naturally I was making every effort to avoid driving from New Jersey to LA this summer.
But alas, Lucia had the final say, and she loves crap like that (adventures/driving/bonding).
And it was one of the greatest trips I've ever taken, and I need to tell you about it so that I can look back on this years from now and remember.
So we started out on August 10, bright and early. I had had about five hours of sleep as I was out late with a bunch of friends the night before, saying goodbye and such. So we got into the car and I slept for about three hours while Lucia drove, and when I woke up, we were still in Philadelphia. Philadelphia is about 20 minutes from my house. Traffic and getting lost and detours and such left Lucia frazzled in downtown Philly.
So I fixed the GPS to get us out and we were off.
I don't remember much from day one aside from the fact that it was awful. Really long, really boring, and really familiar, as we had driven those roads toward Michigan tons of times. The highlight was trying to play the movie game with Lucia, who is a horrible cheater. She would make up movie titles and then giggle to herself if I accepted them. The longer we were driving, the loopier we got. At one point Lucia threatened to pull over and find a skunk for me to play with if I didn't stop playing Taylor Swift in the car. So we were in the car for about 16 hours I think before we reached our first stop at a super ghetto hotel in Effingham, IL.
The next day we drove 10ish hours to Oklahoma City, where we stayed in one of the most comfortable hotel rooms I have ever experienced. I think it was the Sheraton. Anywho Lucia and I met Tom and Tom's boyfriend, Anthony, at a cute hipster restaurant for dinner. It was presh. It was so nice to see Tom and to meet Anthony. Loved it.
The next day is when it started to get interesting. We left OKC to drive to Arizona for our 900 mile day. I remember stopping at this rest stop in Texas that overlook hills and farmland and pretty green everywhere. It was a beautiful rest stop. I also saw what I thought was a crunchy leaf that turned out to be a giant moth. Literally the size of a small bird. Terror.
Whilst in Texas, Lucia and I also went to this ghetto little restaurant in a rest stop and had 99 cent tacos. They were pretty good. Also, I should note that at this point Lucia had been talking incessantly about the grand canyon over the past three days, which was our destination for that day. As Texas turned into New Mexico which turned into desert, Lucia started telling me about how the government houses secret projects on aliens in the desert. She pointed out where those places might be as we drove. So that was nice. She was also very concerned about her candy crush account, as all of her friends were apparently dying without her to feed them. I don't know. I don't understand Candy Crush (however everyone in my office plays it).
The scenery was incredible. I've never seen anything like it. We stopped at one point at a scenic overlook where I almost stepped on a rattlesnake poking out from under a rock (I nearly threw up afterward). There were also some native american ladies selling jewelry that they had made up there, so we bought some. Also, the heat was unreal. Thick, heavy heat. So strange. I got sunburn after spending only ten minutes outside. It was awesome. I cannot stress how beautiful the scenery was for that day of driving. Unreal.
That's Part One. I'm going to go get some lunch before continuing to part two. Stay tuned.
I am not a road trip type of girl.
I'm not adventurous and I hate driving, so naturally I was making every effort to avoid driving from New Jersey to LA this summer.
But alas, Lucia had the final say, and she loves crap like that (adventures/driving/bonding).
And it was one of the greatest trips I've ever taken, and I need to tell you about it so that I can look back on this years from now and remember.
So we started out on August 10, bright and early. I had had about five hours of sleep as I was out late with a bunch of friends the night before, saying goodbye and such. So we got into the car and I slept for about three hours while Lucia drove, and when I woke up, we were still in Philadelphia. Philadelphia is about 20 minutes from my house. Traffic and getting lost and detours and such left Lucia frazzled in downtown Philly.
So I fixed the GPS to get us out and we were off.
I don't remember much from day one aside from the fact that it was awful. Really long, really boring, and really familiar, as we had driven those roads toward Michigan tons of times. The highlight was trying to play the movie game with Lucia, who is a horrible cheater. She would make up movie titles and then giggle to herself if I accepted them. The longer we were driving, the loopier we got. At one point Lucia threatened to pull over and find a skunk for me to play with if I didn't stop playing Taylor Swift in the car. So we were in the car for about 16 hours I think before we reached our first stop at a super ghetto hotel in Effingham, IL.
The next day we drove 10ish hours to Oklahoma City, where we stayed in one of the most comfortable hotel rooms I have ever experienced. I think it was the Sheraton. Anywho Lucia and I met Tom and Tom's boyfriend, Anthony, at a cute hipster restaurant for dinner. It was presh. It was so nice to see Tom and to meet Anthony. Loved it.
The next day is when it started to get interesting. We left OKC to drive to Arizona for our 900 mile day. I remember stopping at this rest stop in Texas that overlook hills and farmland and pretty green everywhere. It was a beautiful rest stop. I also saw what I thought was a crunchy leaf that turned out to be a giant moth. Literally the size of a small bird. Terror.
Whilst in Texas, Lucia and I also went to this ghetto little restaurant in a rest stop and had 99 cent tacos. They were pretty good. Also, I should note that at this point Lucia had been talking incessantly about the grand canyon over the past three days, which was our destination for that day. As Texas turned into New Mexico which turned into desert, Lucia started telling me about how the government houses secret projects on aliens in the desert. She pointed out where those places might be as we drove. So that was nice. She was also very concerned about her candy crush account, as all of her friends were apparently dying without her to feed them. I don't know. I don't understand Candy Crush (however everyone in my office plays it).
The scenery was incredible. I've never seen anything like it. We stopped at one point at a scenic overlook where I almost stepped on a rattlesnake poking out from under a rock (I nearly threw up afterward). There were also some native american ladies selling jewelry that they had made up there, so we bought some. Also, the heat was unreal. Thick, heavy heat. So strange. I got sunburn after spending only ten minutes outside. It was awesome. I cannot stress how beautiful the scenery was for that day of driving. Unreal.
That's Part One. I'm going to go get some lunch before continuing to part two. Stay tuned.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
I Wish That I Could Have This Moment For Life
I feel like time doesn't exist here.
Like I'm living in some parallel universe where it's always sunny and everyone just has fun and is happy and never grows older.
I see photos of changing leaves and hear about warm spiced pumpkin somethings, but they never reach here. Not in the land of endless summer.
It's really weird. It's weird to see photos of people I know wearing scarves and boots and doing fall things. Why would I wear a scarf? Summer hasn't left me yet. And it never will. Not here, at least.
It's almost a wonderful kind of sickness.
Always having fun, always tanning and smiling and going out and staying the same. No rain or snow to remind you that there's another world out there, that time is passing.
It's my own little neverland.
It's going to be so hard to leave. It's like an addiction, this place.
And when I go back to the east coast, I will be going back to snow and cold and familiar things.
And familiar things feel bad.
I feel like I need to be advancing, adventuring and moving forward to all new things. Familiarity feels like a step backwards.
I also know that this place will never be the same once I leave. All of my friends and I will be going our separate ways and if I were to return, it would feel empty.
So I'm in a weird place, in this neverland.
I want to stay forever, but I know that this magical land will never exist again come December.
But at the same time, I wouldn't want to stay here forever, because I want to move forward.
And I can only be in one place for so long before it's time to move on.
Bittersweet.
Like I'm living in some parallel universe where it's always sunny and everyone just has fun and is happy and never grows older.
I see photos of changing leaves and hear about warm spiced pumpkin somethings, but they never reach here. Not in the land of endless summer.
It's really weird. It's weird to see photos of people I know wearing scarves and boots and doing fall things. Why would I wear a scarf? Summer hasn't left me yet. And it never will. Not here, at least.
It's almost a wonderful kind of sickness.
Always having fun, always tanning and smiling and going out and staying the same. No rain or snow to remind you that there's another world out there, that time is passing.
It's my own little neverland.
It's going to be so hard to leave. It's like an addiction, this place.
And when I go back to the east coast, I will be going back to snow and cold and familiar things.
And familiar things feel bad.
I feel like I need to be advancing, adventuring and moving forward to all new things. Familiarity feels like a step backwards.
I also know that this place will never be the same once I leave. All of my friends and I will be going our separate ways and if I were to return, it would feel empty.
So I'm in a weird place, in this neverland.
I want to stay forever, but I know that this magical land will never exist again come December.
But at the same time, I wouldn't want to stay here forever, because I want to move forward.
And I can only be in one place for so long before it's time to move on.
Bittersweet.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
I Remember You Like Yesterday, Yesterday
Six months ago today Monica passed away.
This song was sang at her memorial service, and reminds me always of her.
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny.
Time slips away so quickly.
Six months.
Shoot.
This song was sang at her memorial service, and reminds me always of her.
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny.
Time slips away so quickly.
Six months.
Shoot.
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