God is good.
I think one of the most important lessons I've learned in my experience since committing to Christ is to surrender. I'm a planner. I make life plans and if they seem like they could work out, I will invest in them. And then when they don't work out, I'm crushed.
I'm learning how to experience the let down without getting crushed, to have faith. My roommate and I were talking about how crazy a concept faith is. It's not just the generic faith that all Christians have in God, it's knowing that God will take care of you even when everything is crumbling.
I wasn't planning on doing Adventure Camp. I wasn't planning on moving into a house full of thirty granola heads I had never met, doing challenging things I've never done in the heat.
I wasn't planning on doing anything but surviving the summer. And as disgustingly cheesy as this sounds, I not only survived, I was changed. I feel like God rescued me from myself this summer, by giving me a family and a home and a realization of just how much I can do and who I can be.
I'm endlessly thankful for this summer and all the things and people that filled it. So much so that it breaks my heart to leave. I feel like I've been restored this summer, but will going back into the normal swing of things break me again? Will I forget? I'm learning that I can't even allow myself to worry about it, because God is faithful and will always be faithful.
God is good.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Another week down, and wait...what is this...only one more to go?
Yes, it's true. A week from Sunday I will be driving back to Jersey.
I hate everything about that statement.
I don't want to leave, every time I think of it I imagine myself latching onto my door frame while people tug at my legs to go out the door.
I don't want to do it.
I feel like I'm leaving my family.
And this means things are going to change. All sorts of change.
I will never have the same relationship with these people that I'm living with, because I'll only see them from time to time during the school year. I'm also nervous about going back to my school friends.
I've changed.
I feel like during this summer I've been demolished and rebuilt, and I barely recognize myself. So how will my friends deal with this?
Honestly, I don't know if they'll still like me. Sure, it's still me, but the way I deal with things and interact with people has changed, I think. Also, I spent so much of last year feeling sad and unfulfilled, I wonder sometimes if my friends will dislike the new me because they're used to me being an emo bum.
I was hanging out with my friend Steven a few nights ago and was telling me that there is a noticeable change in my demeanor. I'm afraid that going back to school and back in the swing of things with the same people in the same environment will bring me back down.
Not to say that my friends bring me down. They're great and I don't want to replace them or get rid of them or anything, I'm just full of nerves.
But then there is the excitement. I'm on a roll, in a good place in life and I'm ready and excited to tackle this semester.
Also, nine days until I'm 20. I no longer have a gag reflex at the thought, but I am by no means excited.
Goodnight friends, enjoy your weekend :)
Yes, it's true. A week from Sunday I will be driving back to Jersey.
I hate everything about that statement.
I don't want to leave, every time I think of it I imagine myself latching onto my door frame while people tug at my legs to go out the door.
I don't want to do it.
I feel like I'm leaving my family.
And this means things are going to change. All sorts of change.
I will never have the same relationship with these people that I'm living with, because I'll only see them from time to time during the school year. I'm also nervous about going back to my school friends.
I've changed.
I feel like during this summer I've been demolished and rebuilt, and I barely recognize myself. So how will my friends deal with this?
Honestly, I don't know if they'll still like me. Sure, it's still me, but the way I deal with things and interact with people has changed, I think. Also, I spent so much of last year feeling sad and unfulfilled, I wonder sometimes if my friends will dislike the new me because they're used to me being an emo bum.
I was hanging out with my friend Steven a few nights ago and was telling me that there is a noticeable change in my demeanor. I'm afraid that going back to school and back in the swing of things with the same people in the same environment will bring me back down.
Not to say that my friends bring me down. They're great and I don't want to replace them or get rid of them or anything, I'm just full of nerves.
But then there is the excitement. I'm on a roll, in a good place in life and I'm ready and excited to tackle this semester.
Also, nine days until I'm 20. I no longer have a gag reflex at the thought, but I am by no means excited.
Goodnight friends, enjoy your weekend :)
Monday, July 23, 2012
Life is good.
We are in week 5 of camp and week 8 of living here on campus. Today I ran all over the woods taking photos of campers and counselors and then editing them. Then the staff played soccer and I got hit in the face (still have a headache) and busted my shoulder. Ahhh, camp.
So the whole summer I have been a camp counselor which I LOVE but it's a ton of work. And since this week and next week are the last weeks of camp (can you believe it?!), I've had it switched up. My boss has made me the photographer for this week, which is super exciting to me because it's a nice change and it's something I can use for my resumé because it's a lot of shooting and editing. And then for next week my friend Claire and I have requested to be co-counselors to an all-girl group. It's a long shot, to say the least. But it would be awesome.
And now I'm clean and comfy and listening to Enya.
Recently I've been getting obsessed with Lord of The Rings.
Yes, Tibbs, it's true.
There was a LOTR marathon in my house about two weeks ago and we spent all day watching all the movies (extended versions) and I fell asleep on one of my housemates at like two am. Needless to say, we did not finish the marathon. So we have part 2 of the last movie left, but I'm pretty sure I was out of it for all of the first half so I'll have to just re-watch the whole last movie.
And recently I've been obsessed with the music. Case in point: May it Be by Enya from LOTR is my favorite at the moment.
Also, my favorite part of LOTR so far:
Ahhh. Now I'm going to listen to Enya and get some sleep.
Goodnight, and I will return to update you soon!
We are in week 5 of camp and week 8 of living here on campus. Today I ran all over the woods taking photos of campers and counselors and then editing them. Then the staff played soccer and I got hit in the face (still have a headache) and busted my shoulder. Ahhh, camp.
So the whole summer I have been a camp counselor which I LOVE but it's a ton of work. And since this week and next week are the last weeks of camp (can you believe it?!), I've had it switched up. My boss has made me the photographer for this week, which is super exciting to me because it's a nice change and it's something I can use for my resumé because it's a lot of shooting and editing. And then for next week my friend Claire and I have requested to be co-counselors to an all-girl group. It's a long shot, to say the least. But it would be awesome.
And now I'm clean and comfy and listening to Enya.
Recently I've been getting obsessed with Lord of The Rings.
Yes, Tibbs, it's true.
There was a LOTR marathon in my house about two weeks ago and we spent all day watching all the movies (extended versions) and I fell asleep on one of my housemates at like two am. Needless to say, we did not finish the marathon. So we have part 2 of the last movie left, but I'm pretty sure I was out of it for all of the first half so I'll have to just re-watch the whole last movie.
And recently I've been obsessed with the music. Case in point: May it Be by Enya from LOTR is my favorite at the moment.
Also, my favorite part of LOTR so far:
Goodnight, and I will return to update you soon!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
So the british man, aka the invisible man and I have begun speaking again.
Aaaaaand then he drops a bomb on me and says he's coming back to the UK at the end of the summer, and that if I want him to and it works out for him, he will come to the states.
So what am I supposed to do with that information?
I got excited, swooned a bit, and then got back to the realization that this is the invisible man we're talking about.
So what could really happen?
And I swear to you the minute that I just wrote that I got a little bleep on my computer and who is it?
None other than the invisible man, leaving me another message.
ohhhhh dear...
Aaaaaand then he drops a bomb on me and says he's coming back to the UK at the end of the summer, and that if I want him to and it works out for him, he will come to the states.
So what am I supposed to do with that information?
I got excited, swooned a bit, and then got back to the realization that this is the invisible man we're talking about.
So what could really happen?
And I swear to you the minute that I just wrote that I got a little bleep on my computer and who is it?
None other than the invisible man, leaving me another message.
ohhhhh dear...
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
So the first week of camp was last week and of course I didn't blog about it! At this point there is sooooo much that is going on that it's almost not worth blogging about because there's just too much.
Let's start with right now.
I took the week off from work and am visiting with Kesh in New Hampshire. Today is the fourth of July but because Kesh isnt a fan and I'm not the biggest fan, we're staying in our pajamas and watching movies.
Today while Kesh worked I went out with her mom and nephew off-roading up a mountain (terrifying/so fun) and swam a little next to a waterfall.
Twas fun.
Aaaaaaand Kesh just got back so it looks like I do not in fact have time to tell you all about last week.
But I shall!
Stay tuned.
Let's start with right now.
I took the week off from work and am visiting with Kesh in New Hampshire. Today is the fourth of July but because Kesh isnt a fan and I'm not the biggest fan, we're staying in our pajamas and watching movies.
Today while Kesh worked I went out with her mom and nephew off-roading up a mountain (terrifying/so fun) and swam a little next to a waterfall.
Aaaaaaand Kesh just got back so it looks like I do not in fact have time to tell you all about last week.
But I shall!
Stay tuned.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
I got my lip pierced today. I woke up thinking I was going to buy these cute pair of shoes, and instead I got my lip pierced. Go figure.
But I've been wanting to get it done since I was in high school, and I love it.
So, a success, I'd say.
But shoooooooot that was an ouch. I could feel the needle go through every layer of my lip.
It hurt.
And eating dinner took me an hour because I was trying so hard not to bite my ring on the inside. In a week or two I can get a small stud that won't stick out three inches from my face, and then I'll be able to eat and such.
But yes, I totally love it.
But I've been wanting to get it done since I was in high school, and I love it.
So, a success, I'd say.
It hurt.
And eating dinner took me an hour because I was trying so hard not to bite my ring on the inside. In a week or two I can get a small stud that won't stick out three inches from my face, and then I'll be able to eat and such.
But yes, I totally love it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)