I miss disney so freaking much.
Mostly for the weather.
I mean, the magic is what keeps me there but shoot the weather.
The arctic is killing me.
All my life winter's been my favorite and this winter I'm itching for summertime.
I miss it.
I miss the cute clothes and the sun and the beach and kayacking and ahhhhhhh.
I've had some really good summers.
I'm going to miss adventure camp, as I've decided to not return this summer.  I really need an internship.
I'm going to miss kayacking every week and being outside all day every day.  It was really great.
I have no idea what I'm doing this summer.
Shoot.
So I'm gonna go apply for internships now...
Happy Weekend!

Valentines Day is now trying to kill me.
So after deep breathing for an hour, nothing changed and I was scared so I called public safety and the nicest officer came and asked me questions.  Then four more officers came.  Then a fire fighter.  Then three more firefighters.  Then four paramedics with a stretcher came in.  And then I fought with the paramedic for like ten minutes about not wanting to take an ambulance.  And they told me I needed to go to the hospital asap (but I think they have to say that).  Then my RD came up and the paramedics told him to make sure I go to the hospital.
So then I start crying.  Because it's two thirty am and I'm scared and I don't want to go to the hospital and I don't want to wake up my apartment-mate to take me at two thirty am.  I was nervous.
So I wake Liz up and she drops me off at the hospital.  I get my own room where I'm given a hospital gown and then hooked up to two machines with wires all over me.  I got an IV, a chest x ray, a nasty numbing drink, and watched a lot of news.  Not much else is on at three, four, five, six am.  They thought that I had a clot in my lung for about an hour which was really scary.  Then they injected me with something and took some blood and found out that my lungs are fine.  Then they concluded that I have esophagitis and they prescribed me stuff and told me to sleep.
So here I am.
Happy Valentines Day.
I'm actually feeling really good.  Like physically I'm groggy and achy and blahhh but otherwise I'm feeling good.  Like I'm not dying.
I really thought I was dying.
I've never had symptoms like this and everyone was acting so urgently...I didn't know what was gonna happen.
But I'm okay.
And for this I am glad.
Happy Valentines Day, friends.

So I'm having a panic attack.
Or a heart attack.  I've never had either so I'm really not sure what's happening.
Chest tightness, shortness of breath, shakiness, and indigestion-type feelings.
Teebs thinks it's a panic attack, so I'm doing some deep-breathing.
I'm supposed to not be thinking about it, but I figure if I'm dying, I should probably write a farewell blog post.
But I won't really say farewell because that's too scary.
So I'm going to post photos and reminisce.
Let's chronicle my life.

Heather's junior recital in Nashville with my grandparents

This is a restaurant/bar in Philly with some significance to my parents.  I think it's when they announced their engagement or something like that.

Transatlantic concert with Homie.

15th surprise birthday present

Lucia being her fun self

swimming in lake superior or michigan or something like that.  So fun.

Lucia at Panera.  In public.

Visiting Gordon with Lucia, age 16

Coffee late at night in Disney world

Maryland with family

my graduation

Cape Cod '09

The prettiest photo of Jersey I have.  My first date with Tim.

My favorite photo of my mom and I.  My ring snagged a hole in her shirt that she was trying to cover.

So great.

Heather being classy.

South Pacific on broadway, January 2010

Prom!

Me at 14, I think this was the age when I was prettiest.

This is what sun-in will do to your hair if you apply it to your roots.

Heather.

Just another shopping trip...

Trying on backpacks in REI

A hat Lucia bought.

Heather and I were going to backpack through Europe

Midnight showing of Toy Story 3

My graduation.

Graduation after-party with Steph

Thomas and I.

Beckie and I

Lauren and I

My going away party cake

Steph and my driving-to-the-beach summer song

Summer rainstorms

I have the best Grandma out there.

Homie and I watching a stunt show in Disney World, February 2008

I think I was thirteen.  Soulfest.

Heather's high school graduation

My first photo with Keshy.

The beginning of my friendship with Laura

Winter Ball Attempt #1: Freshman year

Benny's first crash.

Before my first discovery trip!

Hiking.

Saying goodbye because I was sure to die out there in the woods.

Stephy visiting.

Steph got her cartilage pierced!

The fisher cat we saw in the Gordon woods.

My head wound.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving in NY

My Greggy.

Jake sleeping in Heather's suitcase.

My cousin's cat that Laura's family spent Christmas morning looking at.

Salvatore and I.

Francesca and I.

Sal skateboarding.

Me attempting to learn.

Christmas Eve 2010 I think.

Joey boo.

Heather and her cats at her house in Nashville.

Hank the demon cat.

Getting my tattoo!

Steph getting her tattoo!

My sisters.

Tattoo squeezes

Darla the precious cat.

Love em.

New Years Eve.

Some random guy photo-bombing us in Nashville.

ice skating in NYC

Museum of Natural History.

My cousins Susannah and Tamarah.

Susannah's daughter, Arianna.  The cutest.

Susannah and I in Brooklyn.

Rockafeller Center.

Cleaning off the car.

Rachel attempting to tweeze Laura's eyebrows.

Snowshoeing with Laura!

Kesha's 19!

My family and I in Rockport.

Gordon Globes 2011.

Co-leading a discovery group.

Fell down a hill in NH.

Kesh and her adorable nephew, Zeke.

My La Vida bed.

My La Vida friends.

....this is my pillow.

The top of some mountain.

Falling through the ceiling.

Homie and Arianna.

Chrissy and Bobby's wedding!

TAYLOR SWIFT.

Phillies game with Homeboy.

About to see Taylor!

Water fight in Beverly, MA.

Too sleepy...to be continued...