I have some confessions.
The first is not a confession, but a proclamation.
I have found my perfect Starbucks drink.  For years I've gone to starbucks and got coffee that I never really loved (as I am a tea-drinker) and therefore have never been able to really appreciate Starbucks.  But I found it.

Iced Green Tea Lemonade.  I can't even describe how excited I am.  It's delicious and still a bit caffeinated so it does the job without the nasty coffee taste/side effects.  Now I can go out to Starbucks with my friends and order my drink!  (it's the little things, people)
The second is a confession as I am slightly embarrassed to tell you this, but I've been sucked into Pretty Little Liars.
Stephanie is an addict and I've been hearing about this show since it started, and I thought it was really stupid.  I think I even watched an episode or two with Steph when it started and was thoroughly unimpressed.  However, with the big season 2 finale I was asking Stephanie all these questions and I was too out of the loop to understand any of the answers, so I decided to start at the beginning and now I'm addicted.  I won't tell you how many episodes I've covered in the last few days so I can maintain some dignity, but let's just say I'm catching up.
Confession number two is that I've been getting legitimately scared of these episodes.  They're super creepy!  Jumpy and creepy.  But I think that this is probably the best series that ABC family has come up with, so don't judge before you give it a shot!
But as far as the creepiness goes, a lot of it (as it usually is) is thanks to the background music.  And I just watched a Jenna Marbles video on the super intense sound effects/music that producers put in sitcoms and reality tv, which is making the series a lot less scary and more silly.  I'll attach the video.

I love Jenna Marbles.  Aside from the fact that Liz is exactly like her, she cracks me up.  Majorly inappropriate, but super funny.
Anywho I'm going to finish my reading and get to bed.
Goodnight!

Oh, what a bummer.  I couldn't sleep last night and consequently was super out of it today as I woke up at 8 and went to class.  I spent all morning convinced it was Friday and just now realized it's Monday and I'm out of luck.
I would give money for a nap right now.  Unfortunately I have class and then lunch and then class and then babysitting and then chapel credit and then homework.  But luckily, I can sleep in tomorrow.
Also this weather sucks.  It's super mellow and a little chilly and it's putting me to sleep.  As if I need the help.
On the plus side, the new tea my mom got me is incredible and I'm obsessed.
I have zero motivation for today.  I almost fell asleep in class this morning which never happens and I'm dreading babysitting later because all I want to do is sleeeeeeep.
So let's do some lists.
Reasons Why Today Is A Good Day:
1. I had delicious tea this morning.
2. My outfit is cute and comfy.
3. I now understand what I need to do for my advertisement campaign (a little) better.
4. I have realized that I do not want to pursue a career in advertising.
5. I'm going to make money today.
6. I'm probably going to get Starbucks today.
7. I can do my spanish homework while babysitting and therefore go to bed earlier.
8. I'm going to watch a movie and get chapel credit at the same time.
9. It's not raining.
10. It's not too hot or cold.
11. All my classes today are only an hour long.
12. It'll be over before I know it!

Yes.  Today will be good.  I go through my day with checkpoints.  For example, I'll tell myself I just need to finish this class and I'll be one step closer, or I just need to make it to Starbucks and the rest of the day will fly by.  So I'm predicting a lot of checkpoints over the next ten hours or so.
Happy Monday!

There's a CD by As Cities Burn called Son, I loved you at your darkest.  I liked this band years ago, probably when I was in middle school, but I always think of that phrase, the name of the album.  For most of my life I thought that I had been abandoned because I had disappointed everyone: family, friends, God.  Although I now have a deeper understanding of what love and faith are, I still sometimes wonder how it could be possible.  I think of myself at my lowest, my darkest, and wonder how anyone can stand me, let alone love me?  It doesn't make any sense.
And these are the things that I think about in the wee hours of the morning.  I've realized that during the day, I really have nothing to blog about because I'm either melting my brain by watching silly sitcoms, or doing homework.  But late at night when that deep thinking that happens when you're falling asleep begins, I get all of these blog topics running through my head.
Yes, I now think in terms of blog topics. I'm not ashamed.
Anywho, tonight I'm listening to music that is sending me back into memories of my past life.
That summer when everything was so exciting, and I was so in love with the idea of love.  When I would go to the beach with Stephanie and blast Taylor Swift in the car and talk about how cute our boys were.  When I went on a trip and a boy I liked played me songs on the piano.  Such cheesy, ridiculously girly things...but they all come back sometimes as I fall asleep.
Memories are strange things.  I try so hard to remember certain things (we all know I'm not too good in that department) and can't, but I also can't shake a lot of memories that I'd rather forget.  That, my friends, is why there is always a camera in your face.  I love to film everything because I'm so afraid that if I don't, I'll forget.
Anywho, this is getting far too deep and sentimental.
I'm going to bed.

It feels like summer and my motivation to do anything school related is GONE.
On the plus side, the sun is making my hair change color and I got the summer adventure job.  It'll be good to make money and have a legit job, but as always, I'm nervous.
I don't even have the patience to sit here and blog.  I'm going to go be lazy somewhere else.
I'll give a legit post sometime soon.

So I'm trying to make a friend.
When I was a freshman in high school, I got into the school musical and made friends with other fellow cast members.  I started hanging out with this boy in the cast and we eventually became pretty good friends and I took him to my youth group a few times and of course, being the fourteen year old girl I was, I also had a little crush on him.  And then he asked another girl to homecoming or something silly like that, and I didn't make the play the next year and we grew apart.
But, I recently started talking to him on Facebook (where else?) and I really want to be his friend.  He was a really nice guy and he's smart and a Christian and I don't have any Christian friends outside of college.  So, I'm trying to make friends.
And I'm realizing how freaking awkward I am.  Oh well, at least I'm trying.
Anywho, break.  I am on spring break, which is so weird.  This semester is flying by so quickly, and I'm not so sure that I'm ready to start prepping for summer jobs and then SPAIN next semester.  So far, Stephanie and I drove home from school last friday, nearly dying twice (literally) and driving the last twenty miles of the trip with my gas light on.  Then I had several movie nights with my mom&Steph, and lunch with friends a few times.  I also bought two new lipsticks, which was a very exciting part of the trip.
And then tomorrow is my last day in jersey.  I'll be doing laundry, packing, cleaning, and doing homework all day.  And the Tuesday I'm spending the day in NYC with my sister, cousin, and her daughters.  And then Wednesday I head to Chicago with Laura!!!
So much going on.  I'm exciting for all the traveling but shoot am I tired just thinking about it.  I almost wish I was staying home all this week so I could just sleep and hang out...almost.
And now I'm sitting in my bed, watching the prince&me and talking to this boy who is probably dying to end the conversation.  I'm not very endearing over Facebook chat, and I can't tell if the conversation is super awkward for him, if he's indifferent, or if he wants to be my friend too.
Like I said, at least I'm trying.
But I think I shall end the conversation just in case he's leaning towards the painfully awkward side.
Just another night with the prince&me...

So, I'm unofficially going to Spain next semester!
For some reason I'm not excited...yet.  I still have to get approved to do the CIEE application and then they have to officially accept me into the program.  And then I'm in.  But I just had my interview with the Study Abroad office and they told me that I shouldn't make on-campus housing plans because while they're not allowed to actually tell me that I'm in, they've never turned anyone down for the program that I'm applying to.
So, I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm going to Spain.
And while this is super exciting and something I've been dreaming about for years, I just can't help but think about the reality of the situation.  I'm moving to a foreign, spanish-speaking country by myself.  I'm going to be taking classes conducted in spanish, traveling by Spanish metro, and trying to make friends with people who do not speak english.  And I am terrified.
I'm still really incredibly thankful for the opportunity and excited to do it, but shoot is this scary.
I'm moving to Spain.