2012 is coming to a close.  The fact that I have time to write this blog post means that little is happening for me tonight.
I had plans to go to two different parties tonight, but they both fell through.
So Heather, Russell, and I went to Tim's house where his family was having a family party.  It was actually pretty fun, but we only stayed for about an hour.  Now Heather and I are wearing footy pajamas and about to watch Dark Shadows.
So sad.
I was originally planning to look at my grades for this semester after I return from Ireland so as not to stress me out (these grades determine my study abroad), but now I'm thinking hey, could I really make tonight any worse?
I hate not having plans.  Hate hate hate it.  Especially on New Years Eve.
Tomorrow will be fun, as Lucia, Homeboy, Heather and I are going to Philadelphia to have a fancy breakfast with my Aunt & Uncle, and then we are seeing the Mummers Parade.  So that'll be fun.
And then I have to drive back to Gordon, and the next day depart for Ireland.
I am terrified.
But anyways, let's do a recap of 2012, shall we?  For this, I will consult my Facebook and iCalendar for accuracy.  We'll do tweets as well.

January:
My January 1, 2012 Facebook status says I watched Insidious with Beckie and Steph.  Bad idea.  There was many a nightmare because of that movie.  I had a really really great night sometime this month where Stephanie and I stayed up till four am watching disney movies and playing battleship.    And then I returned to school and began my terrible classes, including Astronomy.

February:
Gordon Globes, rainforest cafe with friends, salsa clubbing with Tibbs, Kesh, Eli & Laura, and the worst Valentines Day ever.  I sat in purple gum at a basketball game.

March:
Stephanie came to visit!  Spring break came and I went on a terrifying adventure into Chinatown, NY with Heather and Aunt Sue to get a fake Louis Vuitton purse.  Terrifying, yet successful.  Then I hopped a plane with Liz and Laura and had such a fun vacation in Chicago visiting Chelsea.  It was one of the best vacations.  We played banana grams and woke up each morning to disney music.  We saw the Chicago river dyed green for Saint Patricks Day.  It was freakishly hot.  Chelsea came to visit two weeks after we returned to school.  I also began the Pretty Little Liars obsession this month, according to Twitter.

April:
Easter Break at Kesha's!  So fun, I have the best time at Kesha's.  I got pulled over for the first time in NH, so that was fun.  We also discovered the cutest cafe ever created (which has since closed).  I saw the Hunger Games in theatres this month, sparking another obsession.  I got hired for adventure camp and had my training this month.  Met my people.  Golden goose was this month, loved it.  Teebs, Kesh, and I picked out our urns.  Quote of the month by Kesha: "It makes me sad when the urns are out of stock."

May:
Bombed my finals, went home.  Lucia taught me how to break into our house with a credit card.  Went mini golfing for Steph's birthday.    Went to Brooklyn for Victoria's (my niece) baptism.

June:
Adventure Camp.  Failed at everything for most of June, then finally got into the swing of things towards the end.  Walked past Adam Sandler and his family in the mall.  Freaked out.

July:
Spent fourth of July week at Kesha's.  Went hiking & off-roading with her mom.  Got my lip pierced.  Continued adventure camp.

August:
Left adventure camp.  Turned 20.  Saw Newsies on Broadway.  Went to Disney World  [***highlight of 2012***]

September:
Directed a photo shoot in the rain.  Got pulled over again for speeding with no consequence.

October:
Heather visited.  We went on a candlelit tour through Salem.  Definitely a highlight.  Sarah turned 21, & went to her first party. Got accepted into Ireland trip.  Started caring about Politics.

November:
Got baptized.  Saw Peter and the Starcatcher on Broadway.  Thanksgiving at home with my crazy goofy family.

December:
Here we are.  Great Christmas, great Hannukah weekend in NH, and preparing for Ireland!

2012 was half terrible, half amazing.  I made a lot of stupid mistakes that have (cheesy) become good lessons.
I'm bringing in the New Year with an open mind, so so thankful for my life.
Happy New Year, friends.

WHY ARE IRISH MEN SO ATTRACTIVE?
Seriously.
Shoot.
Let me give some examples.
Aidan Turner (Kili in the Hobbit)

Robert Sheehan (Nathan in Misfits)

Eoin Macken

And of course, Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Ah, the irish.  The accents are what really kill me.
I've been looking up the scenery and I'M SO EXCITED.
All of it.
Ireland.
Ah.

Les Mis.

I saw it.
Aaron Tveit & Eddie Redmayne.  Shoot.  We'll get to that.
It was beautifully done, in my opinion.  There was a lot of criticism on the cinematography, but I thought it was really well done.
Anne Hathaway was incredible.  Incredible.  She deserves that Oscar.
Hugh Jackman is also an incredible actor, however I was just the tiniest bit disappointed with his singing in some of the songs because he had a tendency to whisper or speak-sing parts that I have heard belted.  This was actually a recurring issue.  Because I've been non stop listening to Les Mis soundtracks for a while, I have a certain idea of what I want the songs to sound like.  Samantha Barks could have done so much better in my opinion.
I saw her concert Les Mis performance and she was way more expressive and loud and passionate.  She just seemed super toned down for the movie, which was probably on purpose because in reality Eponine isn't a super large role as her character isn't in the movie for long.
I've heard lots of people were unhappy with Amanda Seyfried's performance, but I actually thought she was great.  No complaints there.
Okay.
Eddie Redmayne.

I'm in love with him (surprise).
As you may know, I've been obsessed with 'empty chairs at empty tables'.  I was pretty certain I was going to hate it in the movie because it would be different.  But shoot.  It was intense.  And one of my favorite parts of the movie.  He did so well.  It was so sad and his voice is beautiful.

I think that the group songs were the best, especially Red & Black and One Day More.  So good.
I think the casting was brilliant, and I think the barricade scenes were the greatest.  So emotional.
Aaron Tveit is so incredibly attractive.  So so so so so attractive.

His (Enjolras) death was really intense as well.
It killed me.
I loved it.
Well done, Les Mis.


Except now, as you might have guessed, I'm awake at 2am watching youtube clips of everything Aaron Tveit's ever performed in...
Including Next to Normal.

Once Upon A Christmas: Millington Edition

Christmas.
It came and went, and now sets in the mix of depression that it's over and the fuzzy memories of "did Christmas even happen?"
Our Christmas was wonderful.  I was woken up at 8am to everyone already downstairs drinking coffee and shuffling around.  So we open presents, and I got a lot of really cool stuff like the sweetest lime green suitcase ever (Ireland!!!) and a Tangled mug with my name on it and a picture of my family at Disney.
Stephanie's Christmas plans were cancelled so she came over in the morning and stayed till after dinner, so that was awesome.  My family is crazy, they're so fun.

Even Homie is referring to Stephanie as our sister.  [tangent: last night Steph fell dead asleep on the couch while Heather, Lucia and I were talking in the living room, so we put a blanket on her and turned all the lights off except for the Christmas tree next to her and went to bed.  It was really precious.]
After everyone left, Homie, Heather, Lucia, and I watched Philadelphia.
One of the best films I've ever seen.  Homie cried.  It was great.
And now it's over and I have four days left of break.
So so so sad.  I don't want to leave.
But it's Ireland, and it's going to be great.  Ireland.  Ireland.  Ireland.
As for now, Heather's got me addicted to a new tv show: Misfits.

Beautiful british people and beautiful camera work.
American tv just seems lazy now.
I now feel that I will be spending the next four days of my break watching show like Sherlock, Skins UK, Downton Abbey, and of course, all four seasons of Misfits.
Ambitious, so we'll see.
Hope your Christmases were lovely...look out for the arrival of Heather's podcasts.
<3

For some reason I decided it would be good to rent Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter today.  Why?  I think I thought it was so hilariously ridiculous that it must be entertaining.
I am rarely not entertained by a movie.  This movie is horrendous.  It's still going right now because Lucia is adamant about "seeing what happens", but I can assure you that nothing is happening.
Meanwhile, Heather is next to me trying out her new toy.  Today she went to Best Buy with her Christmas money and bought a microphone that records directly into her ipod.  Heather and I have had a few discussions with various people that have turned out to be pretty funny, which has prompted her to invest in the idea of starting a podcast.
So she bought a microphone.
The next step, she insists, is drinking wine and conversing with the family.
This will be interesting.
As for now, as we "watch" this terrible movie, Heather is sitting next to me with her earbuds in, listening to herself as she talks (and laughs) into the microphone.  And so the adventure of the Millington Podcast begins.

Today I think of the families of the twenty children who died eleven days ago.  The stacks of presents that will remain unopened until the parents can muster up enough strength to deal with them.
The stockings, the ornaments, the holiday pajamas...the most pure symbols of the holiday season tainted as reminders of the devestation.
I find it really difficult to enjoy my new things when there are so many parents grieving over the reality that their children will never receive those presents chosen so carefully and lovingly for them.
Grief.  I can't imagine.
I keep catching myself asking why.  Why did Adam kill them?  Why did he, a person with a name and a favorite color and a family, make the decision to hurt innocent children?  Why?

My God, What A World You Love.

So I'm home.  Christmas break, and I'm home.
And my family is hysterical.
My grandmom is visiting with us, and so after going out to dinner I drove the five of us around my town to look at Christmas decorations.
Grandmom loves the decorations.
So we're driving around the neighborhood while every person in the car makes their own sarcastic comments about the hideous blow-up santas and twinkle lights, and every time we pass a house that isn't decorated Homie mutters 'jewish'.  They all think their so funny.
But they kind of are.
BUT TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS EVE.
So I'm pumped.
Also I had an amazing dream last night about Freckle.  Freckle is a boy I've had a crush on from school.
It was precious.
This is a really random rambling of of my life as of now.
Anywho.
Bedtime.
Tired.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE.
<3

you're gonna leave all of this behind
into the deep with a fist of light; you're gonna be all right.

My body is so tired.
Today was stressful.  We (Liz, Kesh, Tibbs & I) had to move our stuff out of our rooms and into storage at our apartment building.  Lots of stuff, lots of energy.  And it was stressful because we have so much crap.  I think Sarah and I have significantly more crap than Kesh and Liz, and it took forever to haul it all out.  And then we ran out of room in storage.  So in the morning I have to load everything up again and bring it to the house I babysit at because the mother so kindly is allowing me to store all my extra crap in her basement.  And then we load up the remaining crap, and Laura and I will leave.
Lots of tired.
I want to go home.
I'm so so tired and I just want to be home.
I need a neck massage.
Also, Tibbs is on a date.
A DATE.
With a really really great guy and I'm sooooo excited for her and I'm dying to know everything.
It's their first date.
It's her first date ever.
And he's so great.
Jealous?
Of course.
But so so so happy for her.
Also, I had a really successful shopping day.
There's an FYE near my school that's closing so it's having a huge sale.  So being the movie junkie that I am, I bought ten movies...but all for under 30 dollars!
So excited.
Oh man, but so sleepy.
I think I had a dream that the people I babysit for told me I could nap while the kids are asleep.
I can't tell if that was a dream or if they have actually told me that.
I think I just really want to sleep.
Goodnight, friends!
[don't worry, I'm not really going to sleep while babysitting]
[[i'll update you on Tibbs's date sometime soon]]
<3

SARAH[TIBBS] IS GOING ON A DATE TOMORROW!!!!
She's currently involved in a long email conversation with said boy.
Meanwhile my night consists of Adam Chanler-Berat singing me to sleep.
If only he was attracted to women.
And I knew him.
And we had anything in common.


Depressing.

Sandy Hook Elementary is a little less than three hours away from Gordon.  A six year old girl was killed in the shooting; her father is an alumnus of Gordon.  At least seventeen other kids were killed.
My church here in Beverly had already scheduled a 'special event' for this Sunday, and they decided that even in light of the recent tragedy, they were going to follow through with their original plans.
So after our pastor preached about the tragedy and we all cried for the kids and families, a group of about ten pre-schoolers went on stage and sung 'This Little Light of Mine', followed by some elementary school kids singing a Christmas carol.  We all cried.
How could someone hurt a child?
He was my age, the kid that open fired at that school.  He killed his mom, teachers, six year olds.  
How do you go on from this?  How do you live your life after someone murders your baby girl while they are at school?
I can't stop thinking about this.
These kids, agh they were just kids!  How do you respond, cope, help?
After the kids sang in church today, we all sang the chorus 'Because You're with me, I will not fear' for a while.  And I kept imagining these arms ushering kids away from the pain and into heaven at that school, unafraid because they were being led in.  If only it were that peaceful.
They were just kids.

I feel so so guilty.
I just read a letter I've received from Deisy, the little girl I sponsor in Colombia.  I haven't gotten one of her letters for somewhere around six months, and to be honest I haven't thought about her as often as I should.
I've sponsored this little girl for the past four years now, and she really loves me.  She has so little but she seems so happy and so in awe of life and animals and the ocean.  She ends every letter with telling me she thanks God for my life.  She sends me in this letter Psalm 9:10.
Those who know Your name trust in You,
for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.
She's so smart; she started writing to me in her own handwriting when she was six and I remember being so surprised at how well she wrote.  She tells me in this letter that she's gotten excellent grades this semester, as she always has.  She asks me if I'm proud of her.
I like to think that she's a little like me; she tells me she likes to daydream and she loves wearing ribbons in her hair and playing with dolls.
She tells me her wish this Christmas is to someday hear my voice.

Who am I to mean so much to this little girl?

So we've arrived (Kesh, Teebs&I) in New Hampshire to celebrate Christmas and Hanukah.
This place just feels like home.
I love everything about being at Kesha's.
Also, I've been listening to this band and I'm getting obsessed.
It's called Right Away Great Captain!
And I love it.


We're cutting down a Christmas tree today.
Words cannot express my excitement.
I love friends and Christmas and New Hampshire and cold.
Joy.

The last 24 hours need to be explained.
Or rather, recorded.
Because they were weird.
So things were crazy with my schedule yesterday.  I went to class and found out in class that Kesh, Lizard, Tibbs, and I got an apartment for next semester!  Liz's friend Kitty will also be living with us, and I'm so so excited.
After class I went to my professor's office and filmed him for a bit and then got lunch.  After lunch I went to my room with Kesh and tried to figure out a budget for next semestr (fail), and then I had to go pick up Jack from school.  So after that I got dinner with Kesh, and then I ran around like a crazy person trying to find two people to help Ari and I film that night (fail).
Before I knew it it was time to begin filming (8pm).
Our goal was to get to the train station before 8:25 so we could film the train leaving, but on the way there we realized Ari was out of gas so we had to stop, and consequently missed the train.  Also, at the last minute (literally, as we were about to pull out of Gordon) a Gordon student Ari met a week ago said he'd help us with sound, so we got to go pick him up and take him with us and our actors.
Anywho we missed the train, but it was fine because another one came like twenty minutes later.  Ari's other friend, Ronnie, met us at the train station as well to help, so that was fantastic.
Filming was really good and really stressful because it was dark, Ari and I were tired, and we both film very different ways.  I like to reshoot every shot about four times before moving on and Ari likes to be very precise in one shoot and wrap it and move on.  But it worked out, I'd say.  We got a lot of really good shots, and we even recruited some guys on the street to act for one scene.  We began filming about 8:15, and we wrapped at 11:30.  Then we all went to McDonald's to feed our cast and crew, and then we went back to Gordon to drop Olivia and Pierre, our actors, off at their dorms.  The rest of us (Ari and her friends Ronnie and Josh) decided to take a break and chill together before going on to edit.
So we decide to take Josh's hookah to a nearby soccer field and smoke.
So we go, and we do.  The boys were so funny and we all had a lot of fun getting to know each other and being goofy.  It was such a fun time, driving around and smoking and laughing and talking with good people you don't know.
By the way, did you know that smoking hookah in a soccer field is totally legal?
I didn't.
While we were sitting there a police car drove up and said hello, and Josh said hey and that we were smoking some hookah.  The officer asked if we were from Gordon, we said yes, and he chuckled and told us to have a good night.
So we did.
And at two am, while laying on the pavement talking and looking at the moon, we decided it was time to go back and get to editing.
So we dropped the boys off, and Ari and I went to CVS to get some coffee/soda/snacks for editing.  When we returned to Gordon, around 2:40am I run into my room and change out of my wet clothes (we had been sitting on wet pavement at the field) and took out my contacts, and on we go to Barrington to begin editing.
Except it was locked.
So we call GoPo.
And they tell us that we aren't permitted in without a written note after 2am.
News to us.
So i go back to my room and sleep for two hours, got up at 5:30 and walked to the lab and edited for three hours till my class at 9am.
Went to class.
Went to chapel.
Got lunch.
Now I'm going to take a shower and go to my three hour class.
After class I have a panel for sustainability to go to for chapel credit, and then a meeting with my floor.
And then I can sleep, I suppose.
Unless I have homework due tomorrow.
I haven't even checked.

Many elements of today need to be shared, as it has been an action-packed day.
Let's start with right now.
I'm babysitting, as I have most Friday evenings since September.  It's a really sweet job, but it's three boys under the age of ten, so it took a while to get a bond going between me and the kids.  I'm used to baby boys or little girls who constantly show me they love me by hugging and cuddling and giggling.  But these are boys, and they're not babies, and they're not super affectionate.  In the beginning it was really frustrating for me because I would try really hard to get them to like me, but they were never into it.
I thought they hated me, especially the youngest.  He's three, and like most three year olds, he wants to be around his mom all the time.  So I think the idea of me spending time with him instead of his mom wasn't favorable, so he tends to yell at me or just stare at me when I'm trying to make him laugh.  Frustrating.
But today I got here and took the oldest boy (age 9) to an appointment and he talked the whole time and we laughed and joked about silly things, and then later I was knitting at the house while the boys ate dinner, and as soon as they finished they all sat around me and watched me knit.  And the youngest like scooted up next to me and fell asleep on my arm.
I died.
I feel like that is babysitting success in a nutshell.
Time to get them to bed, more later!

"There are only two stories in life: guy who stands on a ledge and guy who walks into a bar."
-Todd Komarnicki

Homework is hard.
Not the actual content of the homework, but the sitting down and focusing long enough to complete it.
Nearly impossible, I tell you.
I do all of the right things: isolate myself, silence my phone, get off facebook.
And yet, nothing.  I find myself on Blogger.
If not Facebook, then Blogger.
So let's do a countdown, shall we?

Days left of...
Journalism: 4
Christian Theology: 6
Video: 2
Screenwriting: 2

Days Until...
Kesha's Christmas/Hanukah Celebration: 8
Winter Ball: 15
Finals Begin: 6
Go Home: 21
Christmas Eve: 25
IRELAND: 35
Semester 6: 48

Time is flying, and that's terrifying.  I can't believe I'm in my final projects for my video/screenwriting/journalism classes.  Crazy.  Everything is so busy.
Especially tomorrow.
My schedule tomorrow is as follows:
9:10-10:10 class
10:25-11:15 chapel
11:30-1:00 lunch with Todd Komarnicki of Elf
1:00-3:10 filming for my journalism project
3:30-11:30 babysitting
11:30-forever sleeping.
It's crazy how quickly a day can be eaten up by busyness.

And then the ball is coming up.
And I will go to this ball.
I will not crash my car, I will look awesome, and I am going to have a date.
And it's going to be great.
But now I'm going to revisit the idea of doing my homework.
Happy Thursday!

Aaaaaand we have a new obsession.
I saw Peter and the Starcatcher, and of course I fell in love with Peter.
Because we know how I am with Broadway and its characters.
It wasn't a musical, actually it was my tenth Broadway show but my first play, so I didn't have any songs to obsess over after the show.
However,
I found that Peter spent something like two years as Henry in Next to Normal.
Which is a musical.
A dark and emotional musical about depression and drugs and real life.
I love it.
I love the tragedy in love stories that make them feel more real.
Ahh, Peter.
Too bad he's gay, like every other man I love.
Have a listen, his real name is Adam Chanler-Berat, and his voice is magic.

Today was really good, but mostly bad.
I came home from New York to Jersey, where my mom has done nothing but talk at me for an hour.
I found out that my camera is broken for good and cannot be fixed.
I am without a camera.
I am without a camera.
I am going to Ireland without a camera.
And I'm ridiculously tired.
And I have to go back to Gordon tomorrow.

Love Gordon, hate driving.
Hate hate hate hate.

Happy Thanksgiving!

So the day has come, it's Thanksgiving.
Steph and I prepped last night by watching Pocahontas, which as we all know is where Thanksgiving began.
But as for today, I woke up a little after noon from a really weird dream where I had a baby with this guy I know (I feel so creepy when it's someone I know, like why can't it just be Ryan Gosling or something?), and went downstairs to start the festivities.  In previous years (for my entire life), my family has gone to one of my aunts' houses and had the traditional turkey dinner with about fifteen to twenty relatives.  This year, my family stayed home and ordered indian food.  Very unconventional, very strange.
But, it turned out great.  We sat down together at like 12:30 and ate indian food at the table and talked and laughed and told stories of Heather and my childhood.  And then we all went to the living room and watched football, drank wine, and went through the online black friday deals that began today to make a list for Lucia.  It was super fun, especially because we're rarely all in the same room and when we are it's hysterical.  They're so weird.  So funny.  And for days like today with my family, I am thankful.
So tonight, we (minus Homie) are going to continue our Thanksgiving tradition of going to a movie.  We narrowed it down to seeing Wreck it Ralph or Anna Karenina, so naturally in my family- we chose Wreck it Ralph (it's disney, of course).
And then tomorrow Stephanie and I are off to New York City to go out to dinner and see a show on Broadway.  Which, you ask?  We don't know, as my aunt is surprising us!  So that'll be super fun.
As for now, I need to clean my room and pack my bag for tomorrow!
Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

I am so thankful for unscheduled days.

I have nothing to do today.

I have nothing to do and I'm so happy.

I could read a book, watch all my favorite movies, go for a walk, I could write a freaking book if I wanted to.

But I won't.

Being home is so nice.  Since Heather's moved back home, it just feels complete being here.  Like the way it used to be but better because we're older and actually get along better than the old days.

And I almost can't enjoy it because I know that in six short days I will be driving back to school.

Gah.

Who'd have thought that there would ever be a time that I was attached to New Jersey.

It's that time...countdowns!

Classes left/Days left till...
Christian Theo- 9
Journalism- 7
Screenwriting- 4
Digital Video- 4 (after today will be 3)
Home for Thanksgiving- 2
Home for Christmas Break- 36
Christmas Eve- 40
Ireland- 50

We are nearing the end, and I am starting the preliminary work for all of my final projects in each class. One script, one film, one article, and one research paper.  And then we have finals.  It's going to be great.
And then it starts all over a few weeks later.
Crazy.

I'm in a mood.
A disgustingly girly mood that can only be satisfied by puppies and chocolate.

Oh man I want a puppy.

I need to turn my computer off.

I
Am Losing
My Mind.

I Can't Write This Script Anymore.

Cannot.
I Cannot Be In The Library Anymore.
butimust.

Oh, the struggle.

It's weird when you think about how quickly things change.
And how quickly the events that shaped you disappear into the recess of your memory.
Because life goes on.
I'm thinking of this day three years ago when I had no plans of making it to my twenties.
And now here I am.


what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud.

Funny.  Ten minutes ago while writing my script I thought just don't open up Blogger and this'll be done in no time.
Oops.
And now I'm lost to the world of blogging.  There's just something about the library that makes me want to blog.
I'm thinking of all these really fun ideas for my next film/script and I'm getting so pumped.  I really want to do crazy hair and make up and such, so hopefully I can get a good cast and put the necessary time into planning/scouting to make it happen.
Ahhhhhh I love film.
But for now I have to finish my subpar script so that I can begin working on my really good film ideas.
Happy Monday!

Washed By The Water

Sunday nights.
I always go to bed so late on Sunday nights because I have to write my journal for Christian Theology before bed for class tomorrow.
And realistically, the journal takes less than a half hour including the reading required to write it, but I just can't get myself to sit down and do it till twelve thirty in the morning.
I think Tibbs has the same syndrome.
I'm sitting on my bed procrastinating while Kesha sits with Tibbs on her bed, coaching her through her philosophy paper.  What a trooper.
Also, I got baptized today.
I wasn't planning on it, but our pastor invited everyone up who felt convicted to do so, and he gave a very influential message about baptism.
But the whole time I didn't want to do it.  In terms of my faith, I don't like to be put on display.  I didn't like the idea of being in front of the 500+ people that were in church today and jumping into a tank.  I didn't like the idea of all of the emotions that come of close moments with God.
But the whole time I'm standing there watching the baptisms and trying not to think, I'm thinking of this song that I love, that I used to listen to when I was in high school.  So this one part from a Jon Foreman song is just running through my head: Would you create in me a clean heart, oh God, restore in me the joy of your salvation.  Wash me white as snow and I will be made whole.
And it freaked me out.  It was emotion, and a lot of it at that.  And I just had this overwhelming desire to be washed in the faith that has carried me out of the mess that I was.  And I just had to do it.
So at the last minute, after about twenty minutes of baptisms (there were 69 people who ended up being baptized, 11 of them had planned to ahead of time), I felt like it was something I needed to do.  So I ran to the back with Kesha and Laura and changed into a Netcast t-shirt (the name of the church) and got in line.
And I got baptized.
And Kesha and Laura stood next to me whilst I got dunked in the baptism tank.
Laura cried.
It was a cool moment.
And now all day people have messaged me and told me congratulations, which has actually been really weird.
It's weird to me that people are so happy I got baptized.  It's not like a bad weird, just a foreign weird.  Like why does everyone care so much when it doesn't affect them?  I guess that's what it means to be a church community.  Kinda cool.
So yes, that was my day.
And now that it's 12:23 am, I think I'll start on my journal.
Bleh.

Okay so my favorite song in Pocahontas doesn't even exist in the normal version of the movie.
But it's stuck in my head, and it's making me really happy.
And when I get really happy, I get ridiculously sleepy.
So I'm gonna stop this and get some work done before Pocahontas puts me to sleeeeep.
But don't worry, I'll share.

So today I went to pick up one of the boys I babysit from school.  His name is Jack and he's 8, the oldest of three boys I babysit regularly.  So I pick him up and we're driving back to his house and he's telling me about his day, and then he's quiet for a bit.  After a few minutes he says my name and I say yes, and he pauses before saying 'I'm happy you're happy.'  And while I thought this was pretty cute, I was a little confused and I asked him what he meant.  And he tells me 'well, I think you were sad last week, and now you're happy again.'
I almost started crying then and there.
The fact that this kid could pick up on how difficult last week was for me was crazy.  And sad.  And precious.
I love my kids.

"I Was Told By Jesus All Was Well, So All Must Be Well."

Good things about today:
The weather is lovely.
Corn chowder for lunch.
I was excused from my journalism class this morning.
I started my morning by interviewing a really interesting/entertaining professor.
My hair did just what I wanted it to do.
My professor helped me start my article.
I'm not tired, despite my lack of sleep.
I don't have to work.
I have really really great friends.

Music of the day:

So today I'm standing in line waiting to sign out a new camera/tripod, and one of my male friends looks at me and says he likes my 'poof', meaning my sock bun on the top of my head.  I thank him and ask his opinion on whether the bun is too big, and he gets this super confused look on his face and he's like 'uhh...I mean, I think it's nice'.  Like the idea of trying to understand the poof and what size it's supposed to be and what it means to be too big or too small was terrifying.  Uncharted territory.

So let's talk about this: Men are both oblivious and unnerved by female cosmetology.

It cracks me up.

A few weeks ago my friend Andrew came over to me and was like 'hey you look great, what did you do to your hair?'  And he was touching it and seemed really confused as to why my usually curly hair was super straight.  I told him I straightened it and he looked very confused and said 'oh, well whatever it looks nice'.  Like, do boys really not know what a straightener is and how essential it is to a woman?

Also, the fact that 'nice' is always the word of choice when complimenting a female friend is really funny to me as well.  It's like hey, you look pretty, but since you're a single girl that goes to Gordon College, I'm going to play it safe and say you look 'nice' so you don't read into it for more than it actually is'.  All of that is wrapped up in one little statement: you look nice.

And with that, I prove their point in over-thinking things.

I just think it's funny.

Sometimes I try to look at my outfit or hair or whatever through the eyes of a boy, and it cracks me up.

Like, why do I put a wand of goo through my eyelashes each morning?

Or why is there a sock in my hair?

The men may never know...

My heart hurts.
As does my head.
And the four shots of espresso aren't helping either ailment.
Six more hours till I can sleep.

So my sister has come and gone, just as break has as well.
It was so fun, and so nice to have a bit of home here.  But now she's gone and I'm homesick once again.  Let's recap, shall we?
Wednesday night I went into Boston and picked up Heather from the bus station, and then we came to school and hung out with Tibbs and Kesha.  And we waited till midnight and celebrated Tibbs' birthday.

Kesha wrote famous quotes on 21 balloons.  

The next morning we went out for brunch at a local diner, and Sarah opened the rest of her presents from her family and friends.

And then we went to a liquor store but they wouldn't sell to her because Kesh and I were with her and underage.  So they kicked us out.

I also decorated our door with John Green quotes, her favorite author.

Also, can I just say that Mulan is so badass!?!

I'm watching Once Upon a Time, in case you can't tell.

Anywho so after brunch and liquor store and such Heather and I went downtown into Beverly and visited all of the cute consignment stores.  

And then we went to Salem for a candlelit ghost tour.

It was really really cool.  We were guided through the streets for a 45 minute walking tour, where we stopped at various haunted and historical houses and heard some back story on them and how they related to the salem witch trials.  It was really cool.  So we did that and then we returned and watched Snow White and the Huntsman.
The next day we chilled.  We watched Hocus Pocus, which is one of our favorite Halloween movies.  Also, Heather's favorite holiday (above Christmas, if you can believe it) is Halloween, so that's why we did everything related to Halloween.
So we watched Hocus Pocus and Heather passed out.  So I went to work and came back and we went out to dinner at Not Your Average Joe's, which was fun because it was pouring and we just got to chill and chat.  When we came back from dinner we decided to watch the first five episodes of Scandal, a show Heather's obsessed with.  It was awesome and now I'm hooked.  Then yesterday we went to the mall and came back and watched the rest of Scandal and all the episodes so far of the Mindy Project, which was funny because Mindy has a scary resemblance to myself.
So yeah, we had so much fun.  Heather's really really really funny so she's fun to have around.
And now I am tired.
So i shall go to sleep.

I miss hiking.  I miss adventure camp and I miss discovery.
And I do not miss la vida.
But I miss hiking.

sing me a love song again
let your words remind me who I am

Sarah and I just spent four hours doing disney trivia on Sporcle.
Two days before midterms/papers due.
How did that just happen?

I get really creative/inspired when I have a ton of stuff to do.  Procrastination fuels me.
So we're in the middle of October, which is my most favorite month of the year.  The leaves are colorful and everywhere, and the weather is lovely.  So let's have a look at the good times of October over the years (as far back as my pictures go):

2009- Pumpkin Picking Triple Date

2009-Eric's Surprise Baby Shower

2009- Senior Homecoming

2009-Halloween

2010- Discovery Trip!

2010- Discovery Trip!

2010- Discovery Trip!

2010-Steph visits over quad break!

2010-Laura & Steph on quad break

2010- Hit my head on my car, beginning the head wound saga.

2010-Steph and I on quad break

2011- Sarah's 20!

2011-Kesha loving Sarah.

2011-Sarah's tea party

2011

2011-Kesha again loving Sarah

2011-Tea Party

2011-Late night excursion to get candy in Boston

2011- Got hit by a truck, resulting in Benny's death.

2011- Cheesecake factory

2011- Quad break at Kesha's

2011-Armenian meal by Sarah

2011- Quad Break

2011-Pumpkin Picking!

2011-Pumpkin Picking

2011- Pumpkin Carving

2011- Pumpkin Carving

2011-Kesh and my Pumpkin.

So yes, some memories over the past three years.  I'm surprised that I don't have any photos of this month yet, but I'm sure that after quad break and Sarah's birthday celebration there will be tons.

I suppose it's time to do my homework.

Happy Monday!