She's 21 (oh boy) and I'm so so so thankful for her. She's like a sister, and I love her.
In typical Jersey fashion, she's spending her birthday in Atlantic City with Gabe (her boy), and because I am still a baby 20 year old...I could not go.
However we will be celebrating Thursday when she returns!
Today is also Monica's birthday. She would have been nineteen years old. Her mom invited me and like forty other people to a ceremony at her grave and an open house at her home tomorrow, but I cannot go as I am so far away.
I'm a total freak about birthdays. I love them. I think they're big deals and should be celebrated and made to be big deals. You were born! That's exciting! So you should be celebrated.
So it's very strange to think of Monica's birthday. Monica's death is so bad, and the fact that she can't celebrate her birthday feels so wrong, but she was born, she was alive at one time and that should be celebrated. But it just seems sad. Everything she's attached to just seems sad.
This day feels sad, but it's also happy.
Our Hearts Are Heavy And Light
We Laugh And Scream And Sing
Our Hearts Are Heavy And Light.
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