So I just moved into a new apartment in the center of Los Angeles.
I live on the sixth floor.
I have great big windows that open up to see a good chunk of Los Angeles and beyond, including the Hollywood sign.
Every time I pass by my window I have to take a step back and look out to the Hollywood sign.  All of the lights at night, the colors in the day...they're beautiful.  It's a fantastic view.  And every time I wonder about how I got here, to this moment, staring out into a beautiful city with the sun shining through my window and a breeze blowing in.
How did I get here.

I've made so many plans.
Over the last four/five years, I've made a ton of plans.  My major, my college, my career choice, my summer jobs, internships, where to live, where to study abroad...
Not one of those plans included moving to LA.
I was going to do the Wild Semester (remember that?) and go on to take photos and advertise for REI and other outdoor recreational companies.
And then when that tanked I was going to go to Spain and be a Spanish translator or work for a PR firm in Spain.
And then I wasn't going to study abroad, and instead work on my film and move to NYC after graduating to try to get into the business.
And then I was going to move to London and try to get into that film industry.
And then Monica died.  And I wasn't going to do anything.

LA was always there in the back of my mind as an option, but I never thought I'd actually do it.  I figured that film is too hard to get into.  Even if I love film, PR is easier and more practical.  But I applied anyways.
I officially handed in my application online hours before finding out that Monica had died.  I was rejected shortly after applying.
I was okay with not going.  I even convinced myself that I would be happy living with my friend Melissa on campus and having a good final fall semester at Gordon.  I was perfectly content with that.
And then a spot opened up at LAFSC.
And I went back and forth and ultimately decided that no, I didn't want to go.  With everything that had happened, I didn't want another crazy transition.  And I had living with Melissa to look forward to.
Then Melissa called and said she needed to live off campus for financial reasons.  She was going to stay at her apartment and I was without a roommate.
Or any plans.
But still, moving to LA for the film program would be too much for me, I told myself.  So I still decided no.
Four days after being offered a spot, I still hadn't responded.
I didn't want to go.  But I didn't want to give up the opportunity in case I changed my mind.
But I didn't want to go.
And then I talked to Steven.
And he told me I had to go.  And I don't know why that resonated with me, because I think he literally just looked at me and said 'you have to go', but I felt like he was right.
And so I accepted the opportunity.
And here I am.
And since being at college there has been so much that has just felt wrong and hard and painful.  Like nothing is going right.  But (this is going to sound cheesy, but tis real) every time I stop and look out to the skyline and all of the lights, I think of how miraculous it was that God brought me here.  That He brought me out of one of the hardest times in my life and rescued me from myself and turned it into something good for me.  How I almost threw this away because I didn't want to move on with life, but He brought me here anyways.  Being in LA is a reminder that I'm being heard and understood and cared for, and I'm reminded every time I look out my window.