As a com major, I write a lot of stories for scripts and films and such.  Lately my stories have centered around old men as the main characters.
Old men kill me.  And by kill me I mean they warm my heart because they're so stinkin precious.
I hung out with a bunch of elderly folk in Ireland and I think I've just realized how valuable the stories of old people are.  They have so many stories.
I'm a really indecisive person.  I'm not sure of anything, ever, so it's always nice when I'm reminded of why I love being a com major.  Like when old Irish men tell me stories of how they met their wives or how life was like during war-time.  I love stories.
I love being a com major.

I'm twenty years, five months, and seventeen days old.
I have never lived on my own, never been in love, never done my own taxes...and I feel old.
I've been thinking lately about time and the rapid speed that it is running away from me.
I have two more semesters of college.  Two.
I'm not ready for a real job, an apartment, a real relationship.
I'm twenty years old and I'm so afraid of growing up.
I found these in the depths of my iPhoto today.

my sister, Tom, and I when I was thirteen.

My sister and I when I was fifteen.

Steph and I when we were seventeen.

Seventeen seems so young now.  I remember everything about this day, 'like it was yesterday'.

But it wasn't.

Time is flying.

I'm not ready for this.

Lazy saturdays are the best.  Especially when spent in my cozy apartment.
Half of my roommates (there are six of us) are out and the other half are listening to music in their rooms.  So I'm sitting in my living room watching Newsies and drinking tea.
I should really be applying for internships.
Or writing my script.
Or finding a client for my PR class.
Alas, I'm watching Newsies.

I spoke to my Irish friend this morning and he's found me several places to apply (In N. Ireland) for internships.  I could have free housing this summer living in Boston with Kesha and Sarah.  Or with my aunt in New York.  Or with Sarah's family in LA.  Or at home and work in Philly.
But really...I want to work in London.
This is why I haven't applied for internships yet.
Where do I go?
I'm doing PR for a company this semester, which opens up a whole new world of possibilities.
Do I intern as a PR officer or a production assistant or a writer or a film editor?
I'm not ready to make these decisions.

Things would have been easier if I had just followed through with my childhood plan of being a princess...

I should blog about Ireland.  I've been back for three days and soon the memories are going to get fuzzy.
But I'm so tired, and I'm so sad.
I miss Ireland.
I miss the feeling of living life, when I was learning about the world and having adventures and seeing the beauty of the land.
Now I'm reading PR for dummies and doing spanish homework.
I feel an existential crisis approaching.
What's the point in all this?
Would it really be that crazy if I moved to Belfast and took up a job with the Trust?
I think my main problem is that I'm bored.
School is boring.  Work is boring.  Activities are boring.
It makes me want to rebel or get a tattoo or take up some destructive habit.
I need some excitement, something to look forward to.
I may even settle for a mess to clean up.
I've been awake for 18 hours...I think that maybe all I really need is sleep.
Goodnight, friends.
Happy semester six.

I miss Ireland.

It's 9 degrees out right now.
Nine.
In "Belfast, UK" it's 48.  It's like I'm escaping to the tropics with that kind of contrast.
So this is my last blog post for the next eleven days.  I always feel before I go on a trip that I need to make my final goodbyes in the event that this trip brings my death.  I should be psychoanalyzed.
Anywho, adieu to all, and if I die, know that I was content in doing so because it will have been (grammar?) in Ireland.  Joy.
Also, Sarah has dropped (Dropbox) me the soundtrack to Les Mis, so I will be listening to that and therefore all the more happy whilst on this trip.
It's gonna be great.
As for now, I'm gonna get packed up and go meet my team.
We leave for the airport at two or three, and then our flight leaves at six.
Can you imagine me sitting on a plane for six hours?
Neither can I.
Pray for the poor kid from my group that has to sit next to me.
I'm nervous.  Ahhhh nervous.  I feel like I'm a new kid at school and I hope the other kids like me.
It'll be great.
Freaking IRELAND.
Yes.  Okay that is enough for today.
Farewell, friends, I wish you all the best two weeks of relaxation.
I will miss you.
<3

Tomorrow I drive back to Gordon.
The day after I go to Ireland.
IRELAND.
Excitement has begun, but really I just need to get through tomorrow before I'm really excited.
I'm preparing by watching leap year, and lying in bed.
So tired.
I had a great great day.  I realized that having breakfast is a wonderful thing and I will now consider doing it semi-regularly.  Homie, Heather, Lucia and I awoke at 7am and went to a nice restaurant for breakfast in Philadelphia with Aunt Sue & Uncle Ned.  I had turkey sausage, grapefruit, and tea.  Delicious.
Then we walked a few blocks to the Mummers Parade.  It was hysterical.  So funny.  It was like 9am and everyone was totally sloshed.  All of the mummers walked by holding beer cans, already drunk.  So funny.  There was also an incident where an ET mummer stepped out of a car right in front of me.  Nightmare.  I ran.
So we stood at the parade for about three and a half hours until we could no longer handle the cold.  Then we went out to lunch, and came home.  I'm freakishly tired.
I'm really really nervous for Ireland.  I'm not good with change; I need something familiar.  I love the people on my trip and I know we'll all get to be friends and I'm not worried about that, I'm just worried about the fact that I won't have a best friend.  I won't have a Kesh or Tibbs or Steph to vent or make jokes or just chill with.  I know I'll have the people on the trip, but they don't know me and can't possibly know me that well during the course of these eleven days.  I'm going it alone, and that scares me.
Also, I freaking hate driving to school.  Driving home is worse, but shoot every time I wonder why the heck I decided to go to school so far away.
Ugh.
I'm just cranky because I'm tired.
On the plus side, I used the remainder of my american express gift card to buy the Next to Normal soundtrack.
Yes, Tibbs, I did it.
Get ready.
Anywho, I'm going to sleep.
Happy New Year!