I Wish You Could Look At Me Now.

I've also been thinking of my grandfather.  Tomorrow will be six months since we lost him, and I'm not sure if it will ever be real or if I'll ever be able to break down and allow myself to fully miss him.  Little things are what get to me.  My grandma brought in the presents for us and put them under the tree, and not only was my grandpa's handwriting absent from the gifts, but they now only say Love Grandma.
It's so strange to think about.  I grew up with my grandpa and I have to many memories with them,  none of them less than wonderful.
I remember sitting at the window in my living room waiting impatiently for him to drive up with my grandma at every visit, being so incredibly excited.  He taught me how to bait a hook and to fish, as well as life lesson tidbits here and there.  The last time I saw him was at my high school graduation, and a year later he was gone.  He was so full of life then.  Heather and I were his world, his only grandkids.  Everyone loved him.  And then he left.
He's never going to see me graduate from college, get to brag about whatever lame job I get, never going to meet my husband and tell me I'm too good for him.  He's going to miss out on my life, something he was so invested in.  It was always fun and games with us, never saying how much he meant to me or how much I appreciated his silly little bits of advice and random suggestions.  He always thought that I was ten times better at everything than I actually was, whether it was singing or drawing or photography, I was a pro to him.  I'll never get to thank him for all that he has done and the legacy he has left in my life.
I can only hope that he's existing somewhere, in a better place as they say.
And If You Were With Me Tonight
I'd Sing To You Just One More Time
A Song For A Heart So Big
God Wouldn't Let It Live.