Bad day.  Bad, depressing, bad day.

I've had a lot of realizations today and now it's just a sad day.  And now I'm talking to the dream man who I will probably never see again, who I don't actually know and who is not the fictional character from my dream.

And then I talked to my sister, which always leaves me feeling bad, and this time I told her that it's a good thing that we are not going to New York together because we don't get along anyways.  Which is the truth.  But for some reason I feel really bad for saying that.  I didn't say it in a mean way, I even specified that I didn't mean it in a mean way, but shoot I feel so bad.  Maybe the fact that I'm defending myself so much means that it was wrong to say that.

Throughout the entire exam that I just took (old testament) all I could think of was if Heather and I will ever be really close again, like we were when I was in high school, and if I just made us take another step backwards.

And now I have two more exams tomorrow which will likely kill me.

The fictional character is helping me study and saying all the right things, and because of this I must now turn my computer off and reluctantly go back to reality.

Oh, but reality is so sad.